Rebecca Anderson
I've really been thinking and praying about this particular post - because I want to do it justice. I pray that my mom feels the love and sincerity and most of all, the gratitude with which this is being written.From my earliest memories, my mom stands smack dab in the center of my world. I'm the only girl with 3 brothers, so it was just she and I representing for the ladies in the Anderson Household. For me this meant having my own room in a 3 bedroom house..yes, my brothers all shared one room - it looked like military barracks, minus the organization! This also meant a great deal of quality mother/daughter time.
My childhood was a charmed one. I can't even begin to say how grateful I am for that. My house was a home - not only to my family, but to anyone who might need a home at the time. I can recall at least 3 people who lived with us for an extended period of time while they were getting their lives straightened around. This meant sharing Thanksgiving, Christmas and whatever holiday was coming on the calendar with a stranger. My mom made our home a place of safety. I never felt afraid or unloved in my home. We may not have had alot, but what we had, my mom kept nice.
We spent the months during the school year pretty heavily scheduled. My mom is a fan of planning ahead. The summers were a bit different. We would take the days one at a time and depending on the weather or something that was going on in the family, the day would plan itself.
Some of my favorite memories are of the summers we spent Up North. I know that the term "up north" means something different to everyone. To us, "Up North" meant going to Grandpa and Grandmas cottage in Cheboygan, right on Lake Huron. Oh how we would be so excited to get into one of our old Buicks for a six hour ride filled with "are we there yet?' or "he's touching me!" When finally we would hit 31 North, it was a matter of miles before UTA Lane was upon us. Turning into the woods, it seemed we were going into the wilderness, but then a maze of roads and cottages would appear, and as we came down the hill on Uta Lane, the lake would come into view - so beautiful and blue. We couldn't wait to get out of the car to get to the beach. First, to bring everything into the cottage, we began an assembly line. The cottage next door was owned by my Grandpa's sister and brother in law - Uncle Steve and Aunt Adelia...and their scary dog, "Cookie". Cookie looked like a monster from a horror movie. He was a beach dog and stayed outdoors most of the time. Technically, his coat was white - but a nice creamy tan was as good as that was getting. He was matted with leaves and beach grass and smelled like fish. I was afraid of Cookie!
Once we got everything into the cottage, it was to the beach! After all, thats why we were there. I'm about to frighten some of my younger readers - you might want to skip the rest of this paragraph if you were born in the 80's or later. The reason we wanted to get right to the beach was because there was no cable or satellite (which was really not a problem, since there wasn't a tv either). There was no computer or internet service, and no telephone for that matter. There was no jungle gym, swings or activity center...we were on the lake! My mom would always take us into town to the local Ben Franklin store to get some arts and crafts for the rainy days. Otherwise, we had board games, Rook and all the Dominos we could play. The time we spent together up north were some of the best in my life. I remember the day after we buried our little brother, our family went to the cottage just to get away for a few days, and how different it was to have only 5 and not 6 people there. My mom always made our trips a time of good fun and excitement.
Other summer excursions to places like Belle Isle, Boblo Island, Greenfield Village & Henry Ford Museum and of course, Cedar Pointe - all such a treat to us because we didn't make these trips frequently. She always made sure we had a fun time.
I was always overweight as a child and into my teens, as was my mom. We tried with so many diets and programs for weight loss over the years that I have no idea how we stayed so heavy. It wouldn't matter what she was doing at the time. If I was upset at my weight and made the decision to start another diet, my mom would be right ther by my side, preparing the food and getting the information we needed. We really tried so hard, and we would lose some weight, only to put it back on, and a few more. Finally in 1988, we were introduced to Douglas Hess, MD. He practiced out of Bowling Green, Ohio and he was a pioneer in what is now called "gastric bypass" surgery. Back then it was something much more barbaric called stomach stapling. I remember the visit to his office when my mom asked him the only question that mattered to her at the time. If I have the surgery, will my daughter be able to have the surgery too? Her biggest concern was not to lose weight to be healthy for herself - but that she not leave me alone to be overweight. At that time, nobody under the age of 18 had ever had the surgery, so Dr. Hess had to do some research and some pretty extensive testing on me. In the end, it was actually the diagnosis of Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis (JRA) that pushed him to say yes. One of the main reasons he did not like to operate on teens was because they are still in the process of growing and changing. However, one side effect of JRA is that growth is typically stunted and stops around the age of 14. I was already as tall as I was ever going to be, and hadn't really grown (except in my weight, of course) since I was 13. So, May 10, 1988 - my best friend Angie's birthday, was the day my life changed forever, and I know my mom would agree. She asked that I have surgery first, and when I came out and she knew I was ok, she went in for hers. This was quite an ordeal to go through - and once again, we were going through it together. As we both lost weight over the course of the next 12months, it was so fun and exciting to buy clotes in sizes that I had never worn before. I went from little girl clothing right to women's size moomoos. This was such great time for my mom and I - though we met with some prejudice from those who were convinced that we were just lazy and if we wanted to lose weight, all we had to do was stop eating. We learned something from Dr. Hess that we hadn't known before. Food, like alcohol, cigarettes and drugs to some is an addiction. The problem with an addiction to food is that unlike alcohol or drugs, we need food to survive. A person can quit drinking or smoking - but one can't quit eating. You really have to decide what you need to live on and see the excess as the addiction. It is much more difficult than many think, and we are so glad that the stigma surrounding the weight loss surgery is much less vocal today than it was when we had it.
When you go through difficult times, it either strengthens a relationship or hinders it. I'm so glad to say that all the tough times have just served to make my relationship with my mom one that is completely unbreakable. She and I have seen each other at our worst and at our best - and we still love each other.
I feel bad because my mom carries much more guilt than she should about things of the past. Remembering that I've forgiven and usually even forgotten is difficult for her. I pray that she finds the strength to forgive herself fully one day. As far as I am concerned, those things were a test and a trick of the enemy to try to get us to give up our walk with Christ and our relationship with each other...TOO BAD!
My mom always has a testimony and a song in her heart that she is ready to share - no matter where she is or who she is with. I'm proud to be her daughter, and when I think about just a little bit of the suffering that she has endured in her lifetime, I get sad. She deserves happiness at this time in her life more than anyone I know. She has proven herself to be the Proverbs 31 woman in every way. She is a wife to be admired and emulated by young wives today, she is an awesome mother and grandmother - to her own and any who want to call her grandma. She is an incredible daughter, and so faithful to her mom and dad as they began to need her help in their later years. I know the move to Muskegon was difficult for my om because this meant she wouldn have to give up the serving of her mom and dad - but it was time. There are others willing to step up, and they have. It is time for my mom to be served as she has served others all her life. I'm so glad she is at home at Shekinah Christian. She has been a fixture here since we began the work, and to have her and my dad as a part of the ministry seems to be a divine appointment made so many years ago, fulfilled.
My entry here could go on and on (like it didn't, you say?) and I still couldn't tell all of the ways my mom has been an amazing example to me. I guess the greatest compliment I get is when someone tells me that I'm just like my mom, because I think she is just about the greatest person I know. Regardless of the tough times, our arguments, disagreements and spats - nothing has ever kept us from depending on each other. When the rubber meets the road and I'm really in trouble, she is always there to offer encouragement, advice and help - if only I would take it! I'm proud to say that I learned to accept help as an adult. It makes you much more mature than to fail because you were too proud to admit you didn't know what to do, or made a bad decision and didn't want to get caught in it. I pray that my children will always feel the freedom to come to me with their problems, and that together, with Gods help - we can get through them.
Lord, like so many other people, thank you for sending me the best mom in the world. With all my hurt and suffering, it took someone so special to be my mom through all of that. Thank you for not only making us mother and daughter, but for making us friends - in You. Bless her, heal her body and strengthen her in every way. Bring her the joy of her salvation one more time, and give us what we need, only for the day. Thank you for knowing the kind of mom I would need, and for giving her to me.
I love you mom!
No comments:
Post a Comment