The Love Dare

It's been awhile since I've written, and the direction of my life has changed considerably...but all in good ways.  The transformation has been difficult and often painful...but necessary.

Having my mom and dad move to Muskegon has been a blessing in so many ways.  The obvious is that I can be closer to them for emergencies and needs, which has proven to be very important over the past few months.  It dawned on me on July 4th that it was just a year ago at this time of the year that I began to introduce the idea of them moving to the west side of the state.  my mom was relatively compliant, my dad - not so much (which is why I think my mom's compliance was so easily won..she knew my dad was gonna dig in and so no for the both of them anyway!)  Fast forward 12 months...here they are, all moved in.  Everything in Romulus has been handled, and with the exception of the sale of the house, there are no more ties (excpet familial) to the East side of the state.  It has been an exercise in change, challenge, fear, and most of all, exhaustion.  I can't be at my mom's house enough it seems. There is always so much to be done or to get ready to be done.  Thank God for an understanding husband and an oblivious teenager.  The days, weeks and months of sandwiches, hot dogs and the occasional pizza suppers are a testimony to my absence in our home.

Jeff has been more than patient, more than kind and way more understanding than any wife has the right to expect her husband to be.  He has needs that I should be meeting here, and instead of that happening, I come home and find a mopped kitchen floor and vacuumed family room, and a sleeping husband - once again.  I feel bad, I feel a failure and I fear he won't stand for it much longer. 

WHAT DOES A DAUGHTER AND A WIFE DO?

Enter, the Love Dare!  It was a few years back that two of my best friends, Karri Gordon and her mom, Linda Strait, began a ladies Bible Study, using the Stormie Omartian boook - the Power of a Praying Wife, and accompanied it with the Love Dare.  We met faithfully for almost a year - we missed every now and again, but for the most part, Monday's at 11am would find us sitting around Karri's kitchen table having coffee or an Icee (depending on the season), catching up the week prior and digging into the Word of God and some amazing help from an excellent author on how we can be better wives through prayer.  Unfortunately, life got busy, Karri got pregnant, Julie got married, Linda's hours got changed, and BAM...our Mondays are a thing of the past.  We spoke often about starting up again and again, only to have something stand in our way, time after time.  Eventually, we just quit trying, and soon enough, our weeks were filled with family busyness as never before. 

FFWD one year...my folks are all settled in (to the best of all of our abilities), Karri is now the mother of FOUR, with baby Colin getting ready to turn 1, and unfortunately, Ms. Linda still has the difficult work hours...but I'm trying to set a stage-work with me!  A new young woman and her husband have been attending our church, and she was looking for ladies to get together and do a Bible Study with, and Karri and I - though we had long stopped talking about it - were always hopeful of starting up again.  So, here I am, with a husband who has demonstrated the patience of a saint over the past 12 months, and looking for a Bible Study for myself and two other wives with husbands who are in need of more of their time.  The Love Dare it is - but this time, we do the Love Dare solo...not with another study, and not a slow pace - but the 40 days the book calls for.  We began on July 1, 2013.  I know that so far, it seems that Jeff really doesn't see anything different - but what a change it has made in me! It has reminded me that it is not about hw Jeff reacts - but about how I react to his reaction.  The tone of our marriage can be swayed with the tender touch on the hand during dinner prayer, a a quick text that says "I Love You"...especially since he doesn't know how to text a reply!

The girls and I have committed to completing the dare, no matter how busy our schedules get or how ornery our husbands get.  We are also committed to holding each other accountable. Thats what has been missing for me - I need accountability to keep me on track. Just like walking 4 time a week, and Ms. Coretta texting and reminding me "So, are you coming?" I have Karri and Dawn who are there reminding me that it isn't about Jeff and his reaction to the things I do or have stopped doing, but how I am day to day - and the same from me to them.

I'm encouraged this far - some days have been much more difficult than others, but each day has been an experience with the Lord and something new to learn about myself or my husband.  I'm looking forward to sharing some of the results from our challenge here - as it makes things real once you put it on the internet, right? BonJOUR!

If you are of a mind to - keep the three of us and our husbands in your prayers - we are dedicated to praying for one another, but it is difficult not to pray for myself and my needs during this time, but trusting in my sisters to stand in the gap for me, as I am for them.  I'm looking forward to reporting good and positive things over the next days and weeks. 

Thank you - with all my heart.
 "Normal Day, Let Me Be Aware of the Treasure You Are"