FAMILY
I know that many of my posts were about a specific family member, and I'm obviously blessed with an abundance of amazing family. However, after a visit with my daughter, Julie yesterday, I began to think about all of the family that is in her life...and what it takes to overcome the sting and pain of divorce, for the best interest of the children.
Yesterday, I had the pleasure of sitting with Julie for lunch and a visit. As she filled me in on her and Nate's lives, and their hopes and ideas for the immediate future, I was encouraged by the way she spoke of family.
She made a comment that just encouraged my heart, and I don't even know if she realized it - but it was something her dad and I worked so hard at instilling in all of our kids - and it was rewarding to see that we did. She said "I just want to try to cultivate relationships with all of my family, and have peace." That was something Jeff and I felt was very important, and we worked very hard at while the children were growing up. We always made it a priority to attend any and every family event (as long as we were invited, of course!) - regardless of what "branch" of the family tree. From Christmas to birthdays, and weddings to baby showers, if it was someone who loved our children, and they were willing to pour good and positive things into them - that was all that mattered.
One (of many)sad side effects of divorce for the children, is the loss of the relationships due to the feelings of the adults involved. Thankfully, our children have been blessed with family who were willing to put the past aside, and just love on them.
One (of not nearly so many) happy side effects of divorce, is that when there is a re-marriage, there is the blessing of the addition of more family to love our kids. Thankfully, my extended family received our children with open arms, and as their own...there is no "step" involved. From baptism to birthdays, from graduations to weddings...my family comes out to support our children too- regardless of the distance!
I'm so glad to see that this continues into Julie's adulthood, by the facebook posts from family, encouraging her on to victory in whatever she is attempting. Or giving her Godly wisdom to help her make a decision So many parents today do not instill the importance of family into their children - and some actually do quite the contrary. I hear about family "disowning" one another over something as silly as an argument or difference of opinion, or worst of all, the almighty dollar! Family is family, and no matter what happened in the past, those family ties should remain intact.
I'm not so naive as to ignore the fact that sometimes removing oneself from a dysfunctional family is the healthy thing to do. Not by a longshot. Unfortunately, I have personally had to do this with some family members who were not a positive influence, and just seemed to have the need to cause dissention and confusion. The Word tells me that God is not the Author of confusion, so if there is confusion regarding a situation, I do what I need to do to remove myself from it.
I'm a firm believer that because this is a reality for so many people, God has seen fit to place a church "family" into our lives. The presence of a family of believers, standing next to me, and holding me up through the tough times is a miracle and a gift from God. Where I've had to say good-bye to certain "blood relatives", through Christ, I've gained "relatives by The Blood".
Whatever our family ends up to be - a mix of blood relatives and family through Jesus Christ - I know that it is exactly what God meant it to be. It is our sincere prayer that Joe is also able to follow our teaching and example, and not only reach out, but receive what God has for him through whatever family chooses to be a part of his life.
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