Grandma Parent
My Grandma Parent (Gram) is my mom's mother, and probably has had as much if not more influence on me than my mom has. I say this because, obviously it was Gram who had the task of raising my mom to become the woman, mother and wife that she is, which my mom then passed along to me - so therefore, these attributes come to me from Gram. How very blessed I am to still have my grandmother in my life.My grandparents have been married for over 70 years now, and my parents for 48 years. I announce this first, because it is hardly common anymore, and because it gives me the determination to stay in my marriage, and work things out - no matter what! Another reason I talk about marriage is because I have learned so much from Gram even since I got married. She can teach even when she doesn't realize that she is doing it!
From my earliest memories, my Gram has been a constant and positive presence in my life. She has six children and probably around 28 grandkids (I just know I'm the favorite...sorry Margie! LOL), if not a few more I'm forgetting. The lions share of her grandchildren are boys...there are only 7 girls. 4 of us grew up together, and went to church together and had a pretty constant place in each others lives. Gram was nothing, if not fair. When she found out that she was beginning to have some granddaughters, Gram bought sets of Josef Original birthday angels for the 4 of us who were in her life all the time. We always knew what was coming when our birthdays rolled around...the angel with the number representing the age we just turned. As we grew, so did the angels, and I had mine displayed on a glass shelf in my room. When it was time for me to move and go off to college, I remember packing them away and wondering what would I ever do with 18 ceramic angels (this was way before eBay...thank goodness!). Little did I know then that I would be blessed with only one neice among my nephews...so Jenny is now receiving the angels every year on her birthday.
Gram is full of wisdom for women, be they married or not, mothers or not...but her wisdom always revolves around the service of the Lord. Her saying to me when I would talk to her about tough things I was going through was "Remember, Amy Joy - This too, shall pass." I didn't understand what that meant at the time, but as an adult, wife, and mom - I do now! I'm thankful for those 4 words. They have seen me through some mighty difficult times.
Gram was everything a wife and mother - especailly the wife of a minister - should be. She was a hostess second to none. Her home was always a place to feel welcome and comfortable. My mom told us stories of how they would alwayas have a stranger or someone going through a tough time at their holiday table - my grandpa would find people while on his milk route in downtown Detroit who were in need, and he would bring them home, and together he and gram would help. So many of these needy people ended up coming to our church and finding a relationship with the Lord - all because a young couple were obedient to Galatians 6:10...Look it up!
Grandma cooked, sewed, crocheted, knitted and canned fruits and vegetables of all kinds. She has been all over the world with my grandpa as he ministered when the Lord would lead him. I am the blessed recipient of some amazing linens from Jamaica, England and the Bahamas. I have pottery and blankets from South America all made by the hands of the women they were ministering to. Gram loves china and beautiful tea cups. When she set the table for dinner - any dinner, not only special occasions - you would not find a butter tub or a pickle jar on her table. Oh the horror! There would be a fine linen tablecloth, then a linen placemat for each guest. Then china plates, silverware and glas glasses..a red Solo cup has never touched her table! Then the food would be presented like it was being photographed for Martha Stewart Living magazine - on crystal bowls, silver trays or whatever she had to fit the fare. Her Thanksgiving tables were a thing to behold. My Auntie follows in her footsteps to this day in that area.
Gram was always concerned about my being single and being on the road alone all the time. She always worried when I was coming until I arrived - as this was obviously before cell phones - and made me call her as soon as I got home. But that wasn't enough. One time she asked me something about money, and I told her I didn't have any. She was horrified, "You are a single woman on the road with no money in your pocketbook? (pocketbook?? Still don't get that one!) Oh, no, we can't have that. She went into her "pocketbook" (Ohh, it means purse! Why didn't she just say purse??) and pulled out a $20 bill. She gave it to me on 2 conditions. The first was that it was only to be used in emergencies - and a sale on shoes did not constitute and emergency (I think my friends Corrine and Asher would disagree!) and if I did have to use it, I was to come to her to get another. The second condition was that, if she asked to see my 'emergency $20' and I couldn't produce it - I owed her $40! Gram taught me the value of money from a young age, and the need to always be prepared. I never went without the emergency $20 - which has turned into an emergency $50 with inflation. My mom had the same contract with me - only hers was for $40...but same rules applied. I have this with my daughter - I should probably ask her to see it soon...I wonder if $80 is in my future??
More than anything, I'm blessed that my Gram and I were able to spend some quality time together before I decided to get married and move away. As they were getting older, my grandparents needed help with their finances, check writing, bill paying, etc. and I was only too glad to help. This meant spending time with Gram all by myself. We talked about everything, but now we talked as women and not adult to child - and oh, the things I gleaned from listening to my grandmother in those years. If you can give your daughter any gift, give her the gift of spending time with her grandma. I will cherish those years - as they were the last that my grandma could really see. At the time we didn't know it, but she was beginning to suffer the effects of macular degeneration. I can recall showing her a photo and she was looking right at it and I could tell she couldn't see what I was trying to show her, but she told me how much she liked whatever it was! She is almost completely blind now, and it makes me sad for her. Just a few months ago I was at lunch with she and my mom while we were in Detroit for a visit. We were just chatting about this and that, and my grandma all of a sudden got teary eyes and said, "I just miss doing the things I love the most - I always loved to read my bible, crochet and knit and now I can't do any of those things, and it just doesn't seem fair." My mom and I were also both in tears at her declaration out of the blue - but as quickly as she had said it, she dried her tears and said, "But God knows what He is doing, so I guess it is fair, isn't it"? We never said anything else about it - but I can't imagine not being able to do the things that bring me the most joy, especially in the time of my life when that is all I have the time for.
I'm not sure how much longer I will have my grandma in my life - but I know that I plan to cherish every opportunity to be with her. Having a woman like Marjorie Parent to teach you what she has learned in her lifetime is like having Julia Child teach you to cook, Martha Stewart teach you how to garden and Suze Ormon teach you how to budget all rolled into one! I'm glad she got the opportunity to come to Muskegon over the holidays to visit my moms new house. It was good to be with her and my aunts all together.
Thank you Gram, for helping make me who I am. I love you!
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