and finally..my mom

Today I am grateful for:

Rebecca Anderson

I've really been thinking and praying about this particular post - because I want to do it justice.  I pray that my mom feels the love and sincerity and most of all, the gratitude with which this is being written.

From my earliest memories, my mom stands smack dab in the center of my world.  I'm the only girl with 3 brothers, so it was just she and I representing for the ladies in the Anderson Household.  For me this meant having my own room in a 3 bedroom house..yes, my brothers all shared one room - it looked like military barracks, minus the organization!  This also meant a great deal of quality mother/daughter time.

My childhood was a charmed one.  I can't even begin to say how grateful I am for that.  My house was a home - not only to my family, but to anyone who might need a home at the time.  I can recall at least 3 people who lived with us for an extended period of time while they were getting their lives straightened around.  This meant sharing Thanksgiving, Christmas and whatever holiday was coming on the calendar with a stranger.  My mom made our home a place of safety.  I never felt afraid or unloved in my home.  We may not have had alot, but what we had, my mom kept nice. 

We spent the months during the school year pretty heavily scheduled. My mom is a fan of planning ahead.  The summers were a bit different.  We would take the days one at a time and depending on the weather or something that was going on in the family, the day would plan itself.

Some of my favorite memories are of the summers we spent Up North.  I know that the term "up north" means something different to everyone. To us, "Up North" meant going to Grandpa and Grandmas cottage in Cheboygan, right on Lake Huron.  Oh how we would be so excited to get into one of our old Buicks for a six hour ride filled with "are we there yet?' or "he's touching me!"  When finally we would hit 31 North, it was a matter of miles before UTA Lane was upon us.  Turning into the woods, it seemed we were going into the wilderness, but then a maze of roads and cottages would appear, and as we came down the hill on Uta Lane, the lake would come into view - so beautiful and blue.  We couldn't wait to get out of the car to get to the beach.  First, to bring everything into the cottage, we began an assembly line.  The cottage next door was owned by my Grandpa's sister and brother in law - Uncle Steve and Aunt Adelia...and their scary dog, "Cookie".  Cookie looked like a monster from a horror movie.  He was a beach dog and stayed outdoors most of the time.  Technically, his coat was white - but a nice creamy tan was as good as that was getting.  He was matted with leaves and beach grass and smelled like fish.  I was afraid of Cookie! 

Once we got everything into the cottage, it was to the beach! After all, thats why we were there.  I'm about to frighten some of my younger readers - you might want to skip the rest of this paragraph if you were born in the 80's or later.  The reason we wanted to get right to the beach was because there was no cable or satellite (which was really not a problem, since there wasn't a tv either). There was no computer or internet service, and no telephone for that matter.  There was no jungle gym, swings or activity center...we were on the lake!  My mom would always take us into town to the local Ben Franklin store to get some arts and crafts for the rainy days.  Otherwise, we had board games, Rook and all the Dominos we could play.  The time we spent together up north were some of the best in my life.  I remember the day after we buried our little brother, our family went to the cottage just to get away for a few days, and how different it was to have only 5 and not 6 people there.  My mom always made our trips a time of good fun and excitement.

Other summer excursions to places like Belle Isle, Boblo Island, Greenfield Village & Henry Ford Museum and of course, Cedar Pointe - all such a treat to us because we didn't make these trips frequently.  She always made sure we had a fun time.

I was always overweight as a child and into my teens, as was my mom.  We tried with so many diets and programs for weight loss over the years that I have no idea how we stayed so heavy. It wouldn't matter what she was doing at the time. If I was upset at my weight and made the decision to start another diet, my mom would be right ther by my side, preparing the food and getting the information we needed.  We really tried so hard, and we would lose some weight, only to put it back on, and a few more.  Finally in 1988, we were introduced to Douglas Hess, MD. He practiced out of Bowling Green, Ohio and he was a pioneer in what is now called "gastric bypass" surgery.  Back then it was something much more barbaric called stomach stapling.  I remember the visit to his office when my mom asked him the only question that mattered to her at the time. If I have the surgery, will my daughter be able to have the surgery too?  Her biggest concern was not to lose weight to be healthy for herself - but that she not leave me alone to be overweight.  At that time, nobody under the age of 18 had ever had the surgery, so Dr. Hess had to do some research and some pretty extensive testing on me.  In the end, it was actually the diagnosis of Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis (JRA) that pushed him to say yes.  One of the main reasons he did not like to operate on teens was because they are still in the process of growing and changing. However, one side effect of JRA is that growth is typically stunted and stops around the age of 14. I was already as tall as I was ever going to be, and hadn't really grown (except in my weight, of course) since I was 13.  So, May 10, 1988 - my best friend Angie's birthday, was the day my life changed forever, and I know my mom would agree.  She asked that I have surgery first, and when I came out and she knew I was ok, she went in for hers.  This was quite an ordeal to go through - and once again, we were going through it together.  As we both lost weight over the course of the next 12months, it was so fun and exciting to buy clotes in sizes that I had never worn before. I went from little girl clothing right to women's size moomoos.  This was such great time for my mom and I - though we met with some prejudice from those who were convinced that we were just lazy and if we wanted to lose weight, all we had to do was stop eating.  We learned something from Dr. Hess that we hadn't known before.  Food, like alcohol, cigarettes and drugs to some is an addiction.  The problem with an addiction to food is that unlike alcohol or drugs, we need food to survive.  A person can quit drinking or smoking - but one can't quit eating.  You really have to decide what you need to live on and see the excess as the addiction.  It is much more difficult than many think, and we are so glad that the stigma surrounding the weight loss surgery is much less vocal today than it was when we had it.

When you go through difficult times, it either strengthens a relationship or hinders it. I'm so glad to say that all the tough times have just served to make my relationship with my mom one that is completely unbreakable.  She and I have seen each other at our worst and at our best - and we still love each other.

I feel bad because my mom carries much more guilt than she should about things of the past.  Remembering that I've forgiven and usually even forgotten is difficult for her.  I pray that she finds the strength to forgive herself fully one day.  As far as I am concerned, those things were a test and a trick of the enemy to try to get us to give up our walk with Christ and our relationship with each other...TOO BAD!

My mom always has a testimony and a song in her heart that she is ready to share - no matter where she is or who she is with.  I'm proud to be her daughter, and when I think about just a little bit of the suffering that she has endured in her lifetime, I get sad.  She deserves happiness at this time in her life more than anyone I know.  She has proven herself to be the Proverbs 31 woman in every way.  She is a wife to be admired and emulated by young wives today, she is an awesome mother and grandmother - to her own and any who want to call her grandma. She is an incredible daughter, and so faithful to her mom and dad as they began to need her help in their later years.  I know the move to Muskegon was difficult for my om because this meant she wouldn have to give up the serving of her mom and dad - but it was time.  There are others willing to step up, and they have.  It is time for my mom to be served as she has served others all her life.  I'm so glad she is at home at Shekinah Christian.  She has been a fixture here since we began the work, and to have her and my dad as a part of the ministry seems to be a divine appointment made so many years ago, fulfilled.

My entry here could go on and on (like it didn't, you say?) and I still couldn't tell all of the ways my mom has been an amazing example to me.  I guess the greatest compliment I get is when someone tells me that I'm just like my mom, because I think she is just about the greatest person I know.  Regardless of the tough times, our arguments, disagreements and spats - nothing has ever kept us from depending on each other.  When the rubber meets the road and I'm really in trouble, she is always there to offer encouragement, advice and help - if only I would take it!  I'm proud to say that I learned to accept help as an adult. It makes you much more mature than to fail because you were too proud to admit you didn't know what to do, or made a bad decision and didn't want to get caught in it.  I pray that my children will always feel the freedom to come to me with their problems, and that together, with Gods help - we can get through them.

Lord, like so many other people, thank you for sending me the best mom in the world.  With all my hurt and suffering, it took someone so special to be my mom through all of that.  Thank you for not only making us mother and daughter, but for making us friends - in You.  Bless her, heal her body and strengthen her in every way.  Bring her the joy of her salvation one more time, and give us what we need, only for the day.  Thank you for knowing the kind of mom I would need, and for giving her to me.
I love you mom!

My Uncles~

Today I am grateful for...

UNCLES

As I look back over the posts I've written, I re-read all the posts about my aunts, and my aunties..there is a distinct difference, though one is not above the other!  However, as I thought about them, my mind immediately went to most of their husbands, my uncles.  I do have some "uncles" in my life with whom I do not share blood, but a bond stronger - that of the blood of Jesus. 

Growing up, 2 of my uncles were also Elders in my church, and one was the Pastor.  I only mention this, because from my youngest days, I can remember the time during every service when anyone desiring prayer for sickness was asked to come forward, to be anointed and prayed over.  I placed myself in that line at every single opportunity.  When it was my turn at the altar, they wouldn't need to ask for what I needed prayer - they knew.  They would anoint my head and lay hands on my, asking God to heal my body of the Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis that has racked my body since the age of 2.  They would finish praying, and I would return to my seat...still in pain.  As I got older, and the disease progressed, I would often miss service due to extreme pain and swelling.  Some nights the pain was unbearable, and sleep was not to be had.  I could still call these awesome men of God, and no matter the time of night, they would begin to pray for me, until the crisis passed, and I could rest.

I've also got a great-uncle (I know, they are all probably thinking, "I am great!", but I'm talking relationship status...my mom's uncle = my great-uncle) who played a very important role in my life after 20 and before 30.  He saw me through tough physical and spiritual times, and became a constant companion of my mother and I.  We travelled out east, all the way to New Brunswick, Canada - to the homestead where our family is from.  He told us wonderful stories of his youth, and even the years before he was born.  He is an expert on family history, and if you have a question about the relationship of someone in our family, if anyone has the answer, Uncle William does!

And as far as my "uncles" minus the blood relation...the Lord has given me a few of those as well, Men of God that I admire, look up to, and feel confident to ask for direction, instruction, advice and even correction.  It's like a dad without the rules!

I just couldn't ignore the men in my life - because I have been so very blessed by their sacrifices on my behalf...so, to the following uncles and "uncles", I say thank you, I love you and you are appreciated!

Uncle David Porter, Uncle Wayne Parent, Uncle Bryan Parent, Great-Uncle William Parent,
"Uncle" Ron Pimpleton, and to Uncle Rodger Mangold, until we meet again!

for family...

Today I am grateful for...

FAMILY

 

I know that many of my posts were about a specific family member, and I'm obviously blessed with an abundance of amazing family. However, after a visit with my daughter, Julie yesterday, I began to think about all of the family that is in her life...and what it takes to overcome the sting and pain of divorce, for the best interest of the children.

 

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of sitting with Julie for lunch and a visit.  As she filled me in on her and Nate's lives, and their hopes and ideas for the immediate future, I was encouraged by the way she spoke of family. 



She made a comment that just encouraged my heart, and I don't even know if she realized it - but it was something her dad and I worked so hard at instilling in all of our kids - and it was rewarding to see that we did.  She said "I just want to try to cultivate relationships with all of my family, and have peace."  That was something Jeff and I felt was very important, and we  worked very hard at while the children were growing up.  We always made it a priority to attend any and every family event (as long as we were invited, of course!) - regardless of what "branch" of the family tree. From Christmas to birthdays, and weddings to baby showers,  if it was someone who loved our children, and they were willing to pour good and positive things into them - that was all that mattered. 

One (of many)sad side effects of divorce for the children, is the loss of the relationships due to the feelings of the adults involved. Thankfully, our children have been blessed with family who were willing to put the past aside, and just love on them. 

One (of not nearly so many) happy side effects of divorce, is that when there is a re-marriage, there is the blessing of the addition of more family to love our kids.   Thankfully, my extended family received  our children with open arms, and as their own...there is no "step" involved. From baptism to birthdays, from graduations to weddings...my family comes out to support our children too- regardless of the distance!

I'm so glad to see that this continues into Julie's adulthood, by the facebook posts from family, encouraging her on to victory in whatever she is attempting. Or giving her Godly wisdom to help her make a decision So many parents today do not instill the importance of family into their children - and some actually do quite the contrary. I hear about family "disowning" one another over something as silly as an argument or difference of opinion, or worst of all, the almighty dollar!  Family is  family, and no matter what happened in the past, those family ties should remain intact.

I'm not so naive as to ignore the fact that sometimes removing oneself from a dysfunctional family is the healthy thing to do. Not by a longshot.  Unfortunately, I have personally had to do this with some family members who were not a positive influence, and just seemed to have the need to cause dissention and confusion. The Word tells me that God is not the Author of confusion, so if there is confusion regarding a situation, I do what I need to do to remove myself from it. 

I'm a firm believer that because this is a reality for so many people, God has seen fit to place a church "family" into our lives.  The presence of a family of believers, standing next to me, and holding me up through the tough times is a miracle and a gift from God.  Where I've had to say good-bye to certain "blood relatives", through Christ, I've gained "relatives by The Blood".

Whatever our family ends up to be - a mix of blood relatives and family through Jesus Christ - I know that it is exactly what God meant it to be.  It is our sincere prayer that Joe is also able to follow our teaching and example, and not only reach out, but receive what God has for him through whatever family chooses to be a part of his life. 

to be continued...

So, technically, last nights entry was to be my last "gratitude" entry.  Funny how the Lord didn't stop bringing people to my mind, just because the required number of days had passed.  It was my intent to do the gratitude blog for 20 days, as part of a fast with my church - Shekinah Chrisitan Ministries. 

What I learned was that I have much more to be grateful for than I really realized, and that I am blessed and highly favored with people who not only love me, but serve me, uplift me, encourage me, pray for me, hold me accountable, and minister to me.  The Lord has placed me and my family smack dab in the center of the most amazing group of individuals that we could have ever hoped for.  From our biological family, to our church family, to our DeColores family - we are blessed with more friends than we could have ever imagined.  It took a small committment on my part, just to let those folks for whom I am grateful, know that I am grateful for them, for the Lord to open my eyes to the massive community of believers I have to call on in times of need or trouble. 

I pray that as I continue to write my entries, the Lord will bless those I am writing about.  I never want to seem ungrateful for the many, many friends He has blessed me with.  As I look back at the 21 days of entries, I realize that I have only scratched the surface of my gratitude list. 

So, for that reason - I will pick up again tomorrow, and as often as  I can thereafter, until I have exhausted my gratitude list.  If you want to see a change in your life, make the committment to start being more grateful.  Whether you choose to send a hand written note, as my pastor's wife, Ms. Coretta did when she issued her challenge, or you choose to write a blog, or a traditional journal to the folks you are grateful for - you will be surprised at how many people start coming to your mind, and you'll be overwhelmed by the fact that it took something like this to help you realize how very blessed you really are.

At least that's what it has done for me...wonder what it will do for you?  I throw down the gauntlet...who will pick it up?

our children...

Today I am grateful for...
    Justin Milner           ~        Julie Gilbert     ~       Joseph Milner

 

Since my mom and I had to travel to Detroit on Thursday and I had no internet access, I wasn't able to do my blog last night.  However, I was preparing for writing this one, because it will most likely be one of the most difficult. I've actually been contemplating this entry since I began writing this "grateful" blog.  It has taken me all this time to be able to put my feelings about our children into words.

Also, this should be my last, as my intent was for 20 days of journaling, however, the Lord has continued to lay people on my heart, and I intend to be obedient...so, until I'm done, you'll be reading about more of the folks I am grateful for.

Our children...

 

First:  As most folks who know us, know (and some may find out here):  I did not give birth to these children...but I really do not think I could love them any more if I had.  We became a part of each others lives in 2003, and I officially became their "step-mom" in 2004.  We have spent a decade getting to know each other, and for the younger 2, this means more than half their lifetime so far.

Justin is our oldest, and at 24 years old, he has accomplished a great deal more than most his age...and even some older.  When I think about him, I can't help but admire how talented he is with his hands.  I'm so not surprised by this, because between his father, and both grandfathers (Grandpa Eagle and Grandpa Milner) he has had some excellent instruction and mentors.  I'm sure he's learned from a great many others as well, but I believe his love of "taking apart and putting together" must at least stem from those 3 men.  He is a homeowner, and has been for quite a few years.  Calling the house he bought a "fixer-upper" or a "handyman's dream" would be an understatement - and I'm pretty sure he'd agree!  He, and his wonderful girlfriend, Nicole, have made the house, a home.  Doing all of the work themselves, all the while BOTH working at full-time (and then some) jobs.  I remember the look of pride on his father's face when we came bearing gifts one birthday - and what does one buy for young people who are doing renovations? WALLBOARD, what else?  As Justin took his dad through the house and started to show hime what needed to be done, as well as what had been done, Jeff's look of pride and joy was like a neon light in the room.  Whenever we have needed help with things around our house, Justin could always be counted on to step up and do what he could.  I recall a moment of panic when we were preparing for our roadtrip to California.  The Friday before we planned to leave on Monday - the water pump just quit!  We knew we couldn't leave it in that state for almost a month, but how were we going to pay for a new pump AND for someone to install it on such short notice AND on the weekend?  Jeff placed his first, and only call to his oldest son, and after work that afternoon, he showed up, ready to take a look.  It was beyond repair, but he promised if we purchased a new one, he would return on Saturday to install it.  True to his word, Justin and Nicole showed up, toolbox in hand, and ready to go.  A few hours later, the water was pumping and we were enjoying Subway and laughing...and a job well done - as the pump still pumps as we speak. 
This is just one small example of his kindness to us over the years, and we will always be grateful for his willing heart.  He is not one to play games, or tell a person what they want to hear.  Justin tells it like it is - like it or not...and he comes by that trait honestly!  That is a refreshing attribute in these days where people will just tell you what you want to hear so they can get what they want from you.  Justin has worked hard for what he has, and isn't that child with his hand out for help everytime something goes wrong.  Even when we hear about things he may need help with, Justin is reluctant to accept help from us.  As his parents, though this might frustrate us because it is our JOB to help...it also makes us proud to see that he is self reliant and self sufficient.  We only wish that there was more time that we could spend together, but right now, we understand that Justin's priorities are keeping him focused and on the track to a successful adulthood.  For that, and so many other things, we are very proud of him, we love him, and more than anything, we miss him.  We pray he knows.

My beautful Julie...where do you start with one who shares your very heart?  My first glimpse of this little pixie with long, blonde (not too straight...nice try, Dad!)braids and big, hazel eyes, was the day I knew my heart was no longer mine...at least not all of it.  This little girl stole a great big piece of it!  There are so many stories of good times spent together, having wonderful times and enjoying the process of becoming a family.  Likewise, there are porbably just as many sad stories of tough times, tears and frustration of becoming a family.  The term "blended" family fits - because some of the time we were whipped around in a frenzy, not knowing what was happening, and having no control of when it would end.  The beatiful thing was , the tough times ALWAYS ended...and ended with us becoming even closer than we were before.  One such season stands out, and that was the year that Jeff and I made the difficult decision to hoomeschool Julie...when I say tough, I mean TOUGH! And when I say Jeff and I homeschooled her, I mean I homeschooled her!  It all started at the beginning of 10th grade, with a bully and a guest teacher fresh out of college.  Anyone who knows Julie, knows that  child goes to school sick because there is a big test to take.  She doesn't miss for ANYTHING.  Well, when she started to miss because of "stomach aches" with no other symptoms, and came home in tears on a regular basis, we knew something was up.  Unfortunately, the school was little help, and we had NO INTENTION of subjecting our daughter to this bullying for even one more day.  We purchased all her text books and starting in November, I became "Amy Milner...teacher".  Thankfully, we had friends (namely, The Kirksey's) who homeschooled their children, with plenty of wisdom from which we could glean .  I was more scared than I ever let on (I hope), and I think Julie was a little apprehensive as well.  We would be spending our weeks together - pretty much 24/7...what would this do to our relationship?  As the days and weeks went by, we found our footing and our rhythm and homeschooling became normal in our house.  Just as I had hoped and prayed for, this time drew us closer and closer together.  Since she only had to do her 4 core curriculum at home, we could add some additional things to her education that public schools have long since abandoned.  First - we added a devotions and bible time, to go along with her piano lessons.  We learned a great deal together, and spent time in prayer most days.  We also incorporated Home Economics...a now extinct course of study in our public schools (at least at Reeths-Puffer) and yet, so very necessary.  Part of her time was spent learning to clean at Grandma Milner's , where she also earned an hourly wage.  I'm pretty sure there was more time chatting than cleaning, but it made Grandma happy to have her, it made Julie happy to be learning something and earning some cash, and I was just happy because they were both happy!  Julie's time at home also gave us lots of time to talk and share things and even travel a bit.  We were able to make some quick trips to Detroit to visit family, and since we made it a "geography lesson" nobody got marked absent!  By the time the year was coming to a close, we knew our decision to homeschool Julie had been a good one.  She was more confident and secure in her own skin than ever before.  She wasn't one of those caddy girls making other girls lives miserable just because they can.  We let her make the decision as to whether or not she wished to return to school, or stay a student of "Milner Academy".  As we were pretty confident she would, Julie chose to go backto RPHS in the fall.  Her bully had since been expelled, or quit..I can't recall which..but he was gone.  And I really don't think it would have mattered if he was still there.  Our daughter had become strong, independent and a force to be reckoned with. We packed up her year's worth of schoolwork, tests and projects, and delivered them to Mr. Beckemen - principal at RPHS.  When Julie received her report card, I was as excited as she was...WE PASSED EVERYTHING!! While we were proud she had made the decision to return to school in the fall, I was a little sad to see my student move on...I had grown to look forward to our days together, because in the end, it wasn't just I who taught her. Not by a longshot.  Julie taught me more in that short school year than I had learned about her since the day I met her.  I think it was then that our relationship became a bond...that of mother and daughter - regardless of blood type!

Joseph...Joey...Joe...our baby, and now - the only child at home.  Joe was just a mere 4 years old when we met.  By the time Jeff and I had married, he had turned 5.  Getting to know Joey was an exercise in patience!  Just when I think I had him figured out, he opened his mouth one more time!  My mom recently told me the story of their first encounter. Jeff had brought the children to Romulus to visit a few times while we dated, so that we could all get to know each other. It was very important to both of us that the children were as involved with our relationship as we were, and that we all liked each other. Our year of courtship never included a dinner for 2!  Nope - we were party of 4 at every event, and I wouldn't have changed it for the world. Jeff and I must have been in a different room at the time, because I know I wasn't privy to this conversation.  My mom decided to put a video in for Joey to watch, in the hopes he might stop getting into everything and BE QUIET!  She asked him what kind of videos and movies he liked, and without missing a beat he replied, "I only watch movies rated R or higher".  "Well, then" Grandma A replied, "I guess you're gonna be pretty bored here, because we only have rated PG and lower!"  Joey had established his "tough guy" personality at the age of 4!  I'd like to say things got easier after we were married...but I'd be lying.  I brought structure and stability...Joey enjoyed chaos and destruction.  TV, his once constant companion, became a privilege to be earned by doing homework and chores.  No more tv till the bus came, tv after school and tv till bed time and tv in bed.  I took Joey's best friend away and relegated them spending no more than one hour a day together.  Homework, you say? "Well, dad never asked if I had any, so I never did any"...as was evident by his inability to spell his name or even read the simplest of text books.  So we jumped in with both feet and did the hard work - together.  From the start of 2nd grade, Joey was in the lowest reading group in the class, and was one of the most challenged readers in that group.  By the time he was ready for 3rd grade and Jeff and I sat in front of Ms. Nash during conferences, Joey had worked his way to highest reading group in the class - and was the classes top reader.  That year was filled with tears and frustration...and Joey cried too!  But I saw a little boy who was just desperate for the attention he was now receiving, blossoming into a young man gaining confidence day by day.  Each year of elementary and intermediate school thereafter, Joey was on the honor roll, and earned student of the month multiple times.  A very poigniant moment for me, was when Joey came to me on Mother's Day, after church.  The church we were then attending had honored all the mother's by asking them to stand and giving each a carnation.  When we arrived home and were getting ready for lunch, Joey approached me and with all the love in his eyes he said, "I think I want to start calling you mom, k"?  Shock, surprise, joy...just a few of the emotions that pulsed through me at the moment.  We had been told from the very beginning of our relationship that the children should always decide what to call thier step-parent, and should never be forced to call them anything that they were not comfortable with. Our kids had all called me Amy from the start...and that was fine with me. We never discussed the topic at all.  Over the next few weeks, Joey experimented with remembering to call me "mom".  After a few minor slips, mom became the norm, and I've been so ever since.  What brings us more joy than his progress in education however, is his desire to serve the Lord.  From his young days in Sunday school where his teachers would come to us and say "did you know that Joey gave $10 in the offering today"? because he had received a birthday card with cash in it, to his most recent service as a Deco TEC "talkista" where the adults - one after the other - came to his dad and I with compliments, saying, "you should be so proud of your son - he is truly a servant of the Most High."  Words that make all the tough parenting times worth it!

So, our children - hardly just scratching the surface about them here...but I'm saving some of my memories just for myself.  Who knew, when doctors told me all those years ago that I would never have children, that I would one day, be the proudest of mothers?  The Lord knew that even though they needed me,  I really needed them just as much.

Justin, Julie and Joe - I love you with all my heart. I am grateful that the Lord brought us together in such a unique and miraculous way.  I pray God's protection over each of you, every single day.  I hope you know how proud your dad and I are of you, and how we look forward to what the next season of all of our lives will bring. 

 Our beautiful children...in 2009                                  and again in 2012!

 

 

                                 Nicole, Justin, Julie & Joe

Steven Anderson

Today I am grateful for...

Steve Anderson

Steve is my older brother, and someone I look up to a great deal.

Steve is the oldest of the 4 Anderson children, and was therefore, the favorite. I want that established now and well - Everybody loves Steven the best. That being said, our childhood was pretty idyllic.  We grew up on Harrison Street, where every house on our block had a young family similar to ours.  There was never a lack of kids to play with, or things to do.  These things were not electronic, or wireless, and it usually involved something homemade.  Kids can have fun without electronic gadgets~

I can vividly remember his first day of kindergarten. I was devastated to lose my playmate for 4 hours a day. I watched him get on the bus, and I fell asleep on the coffee table awaiting his return. 

Steven is 4 years my senior, so his friends were pretty much my first crushes..oh, Jimmy Thorburn..did you know when I fell down those basement stairs right in front of you, my embarrassment was beyond words??  They were over alot, and Nerf Basketball was a constant activity - right in the family room and kitchen. I can't count how many Nerf balls ended up in a pot of soup my mom was making at the time. 

The summers were filled with baseball games in our backyard...Anderson Field. My dad even built a dug out.  Since I was the only girl, I wasn't allowed to play. I was the bat girl.  Fun.  There would be 90 degree days and triple headers planned.  It would take my mom yelling from the house for us all to come in and get cooled off for the boys to quit.  Likewise, the winters were filled with snowforts and snowball fights.  On a snow day, the beautiful white blanket that caused this beautiful event would be completely demolished by 10am. I still can't understand kids today..I see a snowday, and the snow never gets touched!  Just as in the summer, my mom would drag us in, soaking wet and moments from hypothermia to thaw with hot chocolate.  It didn't get better than our neighborhood in the 70's and 80's.  It seemed to last forever...nobody moved away, and we all just kept getting older.

One very defining moment for Steven was his Junior year in high school.  His best friend was murdered after school, in the hallway behind the locker rooms.  Steve was there and saw it happen, and was there when his friend died.  I remember coming home that day, I think my mom and I had been at a doctor appointment for me, because I had missed school. Steve was standing on the the front porch, covered in blood and looking like I had never seen before.  The next few weeks in Romulus were a time of grief, sorrow and confusion.  There were so many people who wanted to attend the funeral, that it was held in the high school auditorium.  My dad was a minister at the time, and he officiated the service.  How sad to see a group of strong, young wrestlers carry their teammates coffin.  It really seemed unreal at the time.

Not more than 6 months later, it was our younger brother being buried.  Once again, a defining moment for Steven, but also for all of my family.  To this day, when I think back to remember any time period or event, I put it in one of two categories: Before Tommy died or after Tommy died.  It's funny, because absolutely nothing happened in the months while he was sick.  That was the focus of our lives, andeverything revolved around his cancer.  It was more than difficult to say the least - but there have been many times in my life when I was able to share my story and know that it was doing something positive for the person I shared with...and that would have made Tommy happy.

We spent a good 10 years or so with little contact - he went off to college, then I went off to college, then he to a job, and I to a job, and we began te process of becoming independant adults. We would see each other at the required events,but no real relationship that we had on our own.

That has changed, and I am glad.  Steven is pursuing ministry, and that makes me proud.  After being brought up in a faith that required much of us, it was difficult not to try to see what the world had to offer.  It was just as easy to realize the world had nothing to offer - only we had to figure that out on our own. 

Steven is a wonderful husband and father, a business owner and a mentor. But he is an awesome brother,  I'm proud to be his sister, and I love him.

Karen McGinn

Today I am grateful for...

Karen McGinn

I really miss her alot, and though we have lost touch over the years - I can still count on hearing from her on 2 specific days each year...a card for my birthday, and she always sends me the very first card of the Christmas season, which arrives promptly on the day after Thanksgiving.  She is one on the ball lady!

I met Karen when I was working as a physician scheduler in AnnArbor for a company called Emergency Physicians Medical Group.  She was a physician recruiter for the same company, and she started just a few months after I did.  Karen is one of those people who NEVER has a negative thing to say about another person or a situation, and forces you to see the silver lining.  In all the years of our friendship, I never once heard her utter a piece of gossip, put someone down (and she had a pretty mean manager for some of her time there!) or ever give in to despair.

When I think of her, I always feel better, and wish I would find the time to reconnect with her.  When I left the medical group to go to California, she remained my constant friend - calling and writing (this was pre-email and FB, so we did things the old fashioned way) and keeping me lifted up while I was so homesick.

Karen is faithful to her church and to her husband.  There was never a time when she even seemed angry at him...she really is one of those all around sweet people.  That I know of, Karen has not been blessed with children. I remember being at work the day after she learned that this probably wasn't in her future - and for the first time, I saw sadness in her eyes...but not for herself - for her husband, because he came from a big Irish family (McGinn, right?) and she really believed he would be an amazing father.  Instead of complaining and wallowing in self pity, Karen threw all the love she had in her heart on to her neices and nephews...and there was a bunch!  Each one gets a special day of shopping with her for their birthday, and each gets a pretty nice Christmas gift every year.  Talk about lemons into lemonade.

The last time I saw her was the day I was married. She stood by me as my matron of honor, and watched as I got married.  She was a friend right up until the day I moved away, and I've no doubt that if I was still in the area, we'd be spending our Friday's after Thanksgiving going shopping, and planning lunch and movie dates about once a month. 

I often wonder how she is doing, and what she is up to - and promise myself after the holidays have passed, I'm going to call her and catch up.  Well, so far, it's Fabruary, and no such thing has happened...but I will.  In the meantime, I want to celebrate her here. For even though we aren't in each others lives at themoment, she made an impression on mine that I will never forget, and I love her for it!

Mother Ethel Mae Bonner

Today, I am grateful for...

Mother Ethel Mae Bonner

This one won't be as long as the others, because though I knew her all of my life - there was only one short season where we actually interacted, and it was the time I needed her the most.

Mother Bonner was an icon to those of us who were raised in a Church of Our Lord Jesus Christ of the Apostolic Faith (or the COOL JC as it was affectionatly known!)  She was the matriarch of the organization, and wife to the president, Bishop William Lee Bonner.  They lived in Detroit, Michigan and when I was about 8 or 9, they dedicated Solomon's Temple Church in Downtown.  I can remember red jacketed, white gloved elders who demanded my brothers and I spit our gum into their hands before entering the new sanctuary.  The other memory of that day..hats! Big, space saucer like concoctions that left it impossible to see over. 

Fast forward 20 years. I was living in California at the time.  I was trying to find a better climate for the Rheumatoid Arthritis that I was suffering, and it seemed like a good idea at the time.  It was important to me to find a church as soon as I got there.  I found one, and I enjoyed it very much.  The summer that I lived there, was also the summer that the COOL JC had its State Meeting in Sacramento.  I made a point to go, and I found my way to Mother Bonner.  You have to understand the ceremony that is involved with these meetings to really appreciate my story.  She asked me to walk with her to the business meeting, and to sit with her.  As we entered the room - all talking stopped. The men rose and 2 elders made their way toward us.  One took each of our arms and led us to the front row and sat us down.  When this was done, the meeting commenced.  As I looked around, it dawned on me that I wsa the only "salt in the pepper shaker" (that's for you, Ms.Coretta!)  When it was time for the meeting to end. Mother Bonner was asked to give her thoughts on what had been discussed, and she did so - without pulling any punches she gave them her good and negative points.  Then she proceeded to introduce me.  My grandfather was the only white Bishop in the COOL JC, so when she introduced me as his granddaughter, I was like a rock star..people came to shake my hand and meet me. This went on for nearly an hour until finally Mother Bonner sent an elder for me.  When we got to her, she informed me that we had been invited to the formal luncheon and I was to be her guest if I wanted.  Of course!  Free food, and from cooks that make you wanna slap someone!  However, Mother looked a little disappointed.  I asked her if she wanted to go. "I suppose I should," she said, "but I could really go for a Whopper.  Do you like Whoppers?" A Whopper?  We were about to go into a didning hall with a spread of food cooked by the greatest church mothers in the state, and she wanted a Whopper?? But if I was taught anything, I was taught to be pleasing.  Off to Burger King...in her HUGE CADILLAC!  As we drove through the streets of Sacramento, Mother Bonner asked me about my life and what I wanted.  I told her some of my hopes and my dreams.  It was then that she gave me the best advice I have ever been given to this day.  As a woman of God, we sometimes feel that ministry, and being the wife of a minister is all that we are fit for.  Mother Bonner dispelled that myth, and told me this...I can get an education, have a career and still please the Lord.  If family and children were my desire - I could have those too!  As long as I put the Lord FIRST in everything, He was going to give me the desires of my heart!

As we made our way through the drive thru at Burger King (there was plenty of room in the Caddy...no need to go inside), Mother Bonner ordered 2 Whoppers.  As we approached the window to pay, I quickly reached into my purse and produced the cash to pay for the luch.  "Are you sure?" she asked...Absoultely.  I just got the best advice from one of the most influential people I knew...and it was only gonna cost me $4!  We ate our burgers, laughed and visited for the rest of the lunch time.  When we got back to the hotel, it was time for Mother Bonner to attend a meeting that Iwas not able to attend.  She informed me that we were in a pretty bad part of town, and she was going to have her driver escort me home safely.  We said good-bye, and parted ways.

I never saw her in person again, though we had many phone calls and letters after that.  I was very sick when she passed, and wasn't able to attend her funeral. That was fine my me - I had the memory I wanted to keep forever...sitting in her Cadillac, enjoying a Whopper.

Rest in Jesus, Mother Bonner...until we meet again!  Thank you!

(Continued from “The Unique Woman of Worth” By Mother Miriam Norwood)

The late wife of Chief Apostle William L. Bonner, an innovative classroom teacher, an astute business woman, a cook, gifted singer, mother to a son, daughter, several grandchildren, spiritual mother to many, pioneer missionary worker in Liberia, West Africa, and a multi-talented, creative woman of God. In the early years of the ministry in Detroit, Michigan, Mother Bonner operated a restaurant preparing delicious meals at affordable prices for the clientele she served. She was a pioneer in organizing the Ministers and Deacons Wives’ Guild uniting the women to provided training, inspiration and fellowship for them as they supported their husbands in the ministry and in the leadership of their congregations. She spent three years in Liberia teaching and organizing the school, dormitories and initiating projects to enable the school to raise some crops to help meet student needs. The labor of love she gave and the noteworthy accomplishments at home and abroad are a poignant tribute to this grand woman of God.

Asher Pimpleton

Today I am grateful for...

Asher Pimpleton

 

When I met Asher, I recall thinking 2 things...the first was, "man, this woman is GORGEOUS!" and second, "this woman is HILARIOUS!"  She had me laughing and completely comfortable with her in under 5 minutes.  I really don't remember the circumstances surrounding our first meeting, but it had something to do with the young people, and she was a part of it.  She was reassuring me that the adults in charge would have a good handle on all the kids and that my teenage daughter would be safe and well cared for. 

From there, I just remember being so glad when Asher was in the Praise Team and I was at church.  She is such a talented singer (among many other things) and I absolutely loved to listen to her ans worship with her singing...it never had to stop as far as I was concerned. 

Asher was always a student - since the day I met her, she was pretty much seeking higher education of one form or another, at one school or another - most of the time.  There were a few jobs scattered among the matriculation...but I was always amazed at how determined this young woman was to gain higher education, and that she wasn't settling for just a job.

The thing I am most grateful to Dr. Pimpleton for (sorry, Asher - I had to say it at least once..you earned it!!) is her patient kindness and positive influence on our children.  She was one of a handful of adults who were "in charge" of the youth group where we went to church when Julie was old enough to attend youth group.  She would seek her out and make her feel comfortable, as Julie had a tendancy to shyness and was not one to insert herself into a conversation...back then anyway. I think she is cured of that trait!  Asher was always an advocate for the young women - encouraging them to better themselves through education or training, and to not settle for less that their very best. 

Asher was a chaperone on Julie's first trip to "BattleCry".  This was a youth conference held at Cobo Hall, located in the "D" (Detroit..in case you are not sure!), and was attended by youth groups and young people from all over.  They took a charter bus and 50 kids and went on their way.  Julie was certainly changed when she came home.  It was a phone call from Darius Pimpleton (Asher's brother) letting Julie's dad and I know that at that very moment, our little girl had gone down to the front of this huge auditorium to re-dedicate her life to Jesus Christ - and Asher was there with her.  They returned on that charter bus, exhausted and on fire.  The praise team gave a worship service like never before, and Julie was a part of it.  Unfortunately, it wouldn't be long before Asher would have to leave in order to pursue her dream of her masters degree, and then her Ph.D.  Those were sad times when she had to leave, but wonderful times when she would come to visit.

Fast forward a few years, and Asher was making one of her infrequent visits, when the strangest situation occured.  I can't recall the conversation, or how it got started, but Jeff and Joey and I were at the Pimpletons visiting with the family, and before we knew it, Joey had asked her out on a date.  My 14 year old son was looking for a cougar! LOL...in reality, I think he was bragging about his vast experience with the opposite sex, and Asher had the common sense to call him on it!  When it was all said and done, my son had his very first date with Asher.  He was nervous and excited all at the same time.  He came home a few hours later armed with the knowledge that very few young men have the common sense to take.  He knows how to treat a lady, and what a lady wants from a young man.  I'm proud to say that Joe isn't girl crazy or running from relationship to relationship.  He is content to have friends and be patient for the one God has for him. Not to say he hasn't had a few crushes along the way...but who could stop that?  THANK YOU ASHER!!

It was this past May that our family vacation was to beautiful downtown Carbondale! What? You say you've never been? LUCKY YOU!! Yes, it was the drive to end all drives with nothing to see but corn, silos, corn, windmills and did I mention corn?  Why Carbondale?  We had the awesome privilege of seeing Ms. Asher Pimpleton walk across the stage (rocking some 4 inch sandals), then to be hooded (don't know..GOOGLE it - I had to!) and exit the stage as Dr. Asher Pimperton...yes, they called her Pimperton! But the diploma must've been correct, for my friend is now a doctor!  What a proud moment for her family - and I count us among them, and I'm honored to do so.  We had watched her mature into a lovely young woman, determined to get her degree with paying for it (hence the classes in Carbondale, perhaps?)  and never wavering in her committment to the Lord.  Her first order of business whenever she moved to another school or city was to locate a church and find a church home.  She gets involved, no matter how busy her professional life keeps her.  She is one mighty example of an independent woman, sold out for Jesus Christ!

It is so wonderful to have a young woman like Asher, not only as a friend, but as an example to our children.  She is the friend that everyone should have...and she LOVES the Golden Girls!

Thank you Asher, not just for being my friend, but for caring about my family and for being a light to my children. Your sacrifice did not go unseen and we can never thank you enough!  I pray for you often, that God would give you every desire of your heart!  I love you.

Marjorie Jean Parent

Todal I am grateful for...

Grandma Parent

My Grandma Parent (Gram) is my mom's mother, and probably has had as much if not more influence on me than my mom has.  I say this because, obviously it was Gram who had the task of raising my mom to become the woman, mother and wife that she is, which my mom then passed along to me - so therefore, these attributes come to me from Gram.  How very blessed I am to still have my grandmother in my life.

My grandparents have been married for over 70 years now, and my parents for 48 years.  I announce this first, because it is hardly common anymore, and because it gives me the determination to stay in my marriage, and work things out - no matter what!  Another reason I talk about marriage is because I have learned so much from Gram even since I got married. She can teach even when she doesn't realize that she is doing it!

From my earliest memories, my Gram has been a constant and positive presence in my life.  She has six children and probably around 28 grandkids (I just know I'm the favorite...sorry Margie! LOL), if not a few more I'm forgetting.  The lions share of her grandchildren are boys...there are only 7 girls.  4 of us grew up together, and went to church together and had a pretty constant place in each others lives.  Gram was nothing, if not fair.  When she found out that she was beginning to have some granddaughters, Gram bought sets of Josef Original birthday angels for the 4 of us who were in her life all the time.  We always knew what was coming when our birthdays rolled around...the angel with the number representing the age we just turned.  As we grew, so did the angels, and I had mine displayed on a glass shelf in my room.  When it was time for me to move and go off to college, I remember packing them away and wondering what would I ever do with 18 ceramic angels (this was way before eBay...thank goodness!).  Little did I know then that I would be blessed with only one neice among my nephews...so Jenny is now receiving the angels every year on her birthday. 

Gram is full of wisdom for women, be they married or not, mothers or not...but her wisdom always revolves around the service of the Lord.  Her saying to me when I would talk to her about tough things I was going through was "Remember, Amy Joy - This too, shall pass." I didn't understand what that meant at the time, but as an adult, wife, and mom - I do now! I'm thankful for those 4 words. They have seen me through some mighty difficult times.

Gram was everything a wife and mother - especailly the wife of a minister - should be. She was a hostess second to none.  Her home was always a place to feel welcome and comfortable.  My mom told us stories of how they would alwayas have a stranger or someone going through a tough time at their holiday table - my grandpa would find people while on his milk route in downtown Detroit who were in need, and he would bring them home, and together he and gram would help.  So many of these needy people ended up coming to our church and finding a relationship with the Lord - all because a young couple were obedient to Galatians 6:10...Look it up!

Grandma cooked, sewed, crocheted, knitted and canned fruits and vegetables of all kinds.  She has been all over the world with my grandpa as he ministered when the Lord would lead him.  I am the blessed recipient of some amazing linens from Jamaica, England and the Bahamas. I have pottery and blankets from South America all made by the hands of the women they were ministering to.  Gram loves china and beautiful tea cups. When she set the table for dinner - any dinner, not only special occasions - you would not find a butter tub or a pickle jar on her table.  Oh the horror!  There would be  a fine linen tablecloth, then a linen placemat for each guest.  Then china plates, silverware and glas glasses..a red Solo cup has never touched her table!  Then the food would be presented like it was being photographed for Martha Stewart Living magazine - on crystal bowls, silver trays or whatever she had to fit the fare.  Her Thanksgiving tables were a thing to behold. My Auntie follows in her footsteps to this day in that area. 

Gram was always concerned about my being single and being on the road alone all the time.  She always worried when I was coming until I arrived - as this was obviously before cell phones - and made me call her as soon as I got home.  But that wasn't enough. One time she asked me something about money, and I told her I didn't have any. She was horrified, "You are a single woman on the road with no money in your pocketbook? (pocketbook?? Still don't get that one!) Oh, no, we can't have that. She went into her "pocketbook" (Ohh, it means purse! Why didn't she just say purse??) and pulled out a $20 bill.  She gave it to me on 2 conditions.  The first was that it was only to be used in emergencies - and a sale on shoes did not constitute and emergency (I think my friends Corrine and Asher would disagree!) and if I did have to use it, I was to come to her to get another.  The second condition was that, if she asked to see my 'emergency $20' and I couldn't produce it - I owed her $40!  Gram taught me the value of money from a young age, and the need to always be prepared.  I never went without the emergency $20 - which has turned into an emergency $50 with inflation.  My mom had the same contract with me - only hers was for $40...but same rules applied.  I have this with my daughter - I should probably ask her to see it soon...I wonder if $80 is in my future??

More than anything, I'm blessed that my Gram and I were able to spend some quality time together before I decided to get married and move away.  As they were getting older, my grandparents needed help with their finances, check writing, bill paying, etc. and I was only too glad to help.  This meant spending time with Gram all by myself.  We talked about everything, but now we talked as women and not adult to child - and oh, the things I gleaned from listening to my grandmother in those years.  If you can give your daughter any gift, give her the gift of spending time with her grandma. I will cherish those years - as they were the last that my grandma could really see.  At the time we didn't know it, but she was beginning to suffer the effects of macular degeneration.  I can recall showing her a photo and she was looking right at it and I could tell she couldn't see what I was trying to show her, but she told me how much she liked whatever it was!  She is almost completely blind now, and it makes me sad for her. Just a few months ago I was at lunch with she and my mom while we were in Detroit for a visit.  We were just chatting about this and that, and my grandma all of a sudden got teary eyes and said, "I just miss doing the things I love the most - I always loved to read my bible, crochet and knit and now I can't do any of those things, and it just doesn't seem fair." My mom and I were also both in tears at her declaration out of the blue - but as quickly as she had said it, she dried her tears and said, "But God knows what He is doing, so I guess it is fair, isn't it"?  We never said anything else about it - but I can't imagine not being able to do the things that bring me the most joy, especially in the time of my life when that is all I have the time for. 

I'm not sure how much longer I will have my grandma in my life - but I know that I plan to cherish every opportunity to be with her.  Having a woman like Marjorie Parent to teach you what she has learned in her lifetime is like having Julia Child teach you to cook, Martha Stewart teach you how to garden and Suze Ormon teach you how to budget all rolled into one!  I'm glad she got the opportunity to come to Muskegon over the holidays to visit my moms new house.  It was good to be with her and my aunts all together. 

Thank you Gram, for helping make me who I am.  I love you!

Amy Deering

Today I am grateful for...

Amy Deering

 

When I met her, she was Amy Denslow, and we were to work a Westshore DeColores women's weekend together.  It was at our first team meeting that I met her, and I was drawn immediately to her.  Her sweet and kind spirit, paired with a sense of humor and a realness that just can't be faked would make for an amazing friend!  As we got to know each other better over the course of our meetings, it was obvious to me that Amy was a kindred spirit and I knew our friendship would far outlast the weekend on which we were serving.

Due to the nature of our positions, we really didn't get to see too much of each other on that weekend, but when the follow up meetings began, we were able to chat and visit more.  I don't know what it was that drew me to her specifically, but when I had the awesome honor of serving with her yet again, this time we were both in the same position - so we would be able to spend more time together and really get to know each other.  Well, by the close of that weekend, I had heard Amy deliver a talk that was so beautiful, heartbreaking, honest, and sincere, I knew I wanted to secure my friendship with her.

I've listened to her talk about her children, and what an awesome mom they have..I pray they realize it.  At the time, we were both raising teenage daughters in our home, so what a source of comfort, information and most of all, compassion we were to one another!  Only another mother of a teen age girl can understand what a mother can go through on a daily basis. 

Amy is generous to a fault and a wonderful listener.  I was able to unload on her more than once, and thinking back, I can't recall if I ever returned the favor.  If I haven't, I certainly will someday.  SHe is also a exactly what the bible speaks of when it speaks of a laywoman in the church.  Amy is a servant with a heart to never say no...even at her own detriment.  God gets her through and she is on to the next challenge.  She was married just a few short years ago, and from my perspective, ahe is a shining example of the Proverbs 31 woman all the way.  I am proud to have her as a friend to me, and to call her friend.

Amy has also been a blessing to my children - especially my son, Joe.  They  worked a DecoTEC teen weekend together some time ago, and she made an impression upon him unlike I have ever seen him have.  He listens to what she has to say and takes it to heart.  Anytime another adult pours into the life of my children when they have children of their own is to be commended.  It isn't easy to build rapport with a teen today - but it is vital to their growing up and maturing, especially in the Lord.  I'm so glad that Amy decided to say yes when God placed my children in her path.  I know it is scary to try to guide someone elses child, because you are constantly fearful of steering them incorrectly or pushing them away with the wrong word or phrase.  But knowing that Amy is a woman who is filled with the Holy Spirit, I trust the Lord to give her what she needs, not only for my kids, but hers, and whomever she is ministering to at the time.  She is definitely obedient and faithful.

I just know the opportunity for she and I to actually spend time together, aside from our children will happen soon enough and I look forward to getting to know her even better. 

Thanks, Amy ~ for being such a wonderful mentor to my kids, and such an amazing friend and sister in Christ to me.  I pray you know how grateful I am to have you in my life.  God Bless!

Amy and her husband, Mark

Melissa Lein

Today I am grateful for...

Melissa Lein

 

In the whole picture of my life, Melissa Lein is a relatively new friend to me.  But for me, it feel like we have known each other for a really long time.  We met on a DeColores weekend in March of 2009.  Once I had made my DeColores weekend, I knew it was something that I wanted my mom to experience.  She resisted until I used the marker that no mom can refuse...a birthday wish!  Yes, My birthday was March 14, and the weekend was at the end of March.  My devious plan had worked...she was coming. 

 

What I didn't plan, was meeting someone who would later become such a womderful example, role model and friend to me...Melissa Lein.  She was so quiet on the weekend, I thought she was extremely shy.  Now, I know better!  Being a prayer warrior, I didn't get much interaction with Melissa, but the little I did was always positive and upbeat.  She and mom had a few conversations, and at lunch one day my mom told me that she had found out that Melissa was acquainted with the birth mother of my children, Judi.  They had worked together many years before.  Melissa asked me about Justin, Julie and Joey - saying that she had met them many years before when they were very young, and had come to visit their mom at work.  We finished lunch while I got her caught up on all the changes in their lives, but never really talked about ourselves.

 

It wasn't until months later when we would be at DeColores activities together, or other church functions that our friendship began to really blossom.  I can't really put my finger on the moment we became friends - I just know that I get excited when I have a meeting or service to attend that Melissa will also be at - because I am always excited to catch up!

 

Melissa is in school, studying ministry. What a calling God has on this amazing young woman.  She is currently the youth Pastor at a church in Grand Haven, and she has done awesome things with the kids.  They are blessed to have her, and I hope that they realize it!

 

 

She has also taken a special interest in our children.  Both Julie and Joey are special to her - I know, because she is always asking me about them, and she makes a point to seek them out for hello and good-bye whenever we are together.  She has poured into them, interceded for them, and given them some of the most wonderful and objective advice a parent could hope for.  I do so pray that one day our kids realize how many people it took to raise them so well, and that they owe them all a debt of gratitude as well.   I'm so thankful for the men and women who are a part of helping Jeff and I raise our children in the Lord.  The influences of other adults makes such a difference in them, and if your kids don't have that, get it for them! 

 

When Melissa told me that she felt the Lord leading her to lead a women's weekend one day, I was so excited and hopeful that she would call on me to work it.  I never said anything to her at the time, but when the time for planning her weekend came and I received the call!  I was ecstatic!  However,  my life was in such a time of turmoil and craziness with moving my parents to west Michigan, I really felt I had to say no. I would have never been able to give the proper attention to the ministry that it deserves.  It was so very difficult, because my flesh really wanted to be with my friend when she accomplished this amazing goal - but as we talked about it later, God had everything planned just as it should have been, because the person who said yes in my place was exactly who was needed for that particular weekend.  I'm so thankful that the Lord still speaks to me in that still small voice, and that I am able to hear and to be obedient...most of the time!

 

We also serve together on the Westshore secretariat of the DeColores movement, she as the secretary (for now...) and me as a church contact along with Deacon Ron Pimpleton.  We have good times at these meetings, all the while getting business accomplished.  She is soft spoken, deeply committed and as patient as a person can be.  She knows how to wait on God and to not try to orchestrate things in her life on her own.  She is an amazing mom and grandma, and I wonder if her kids and grandkids know it? I hope so!

 

While I friendship is fresh and new, I can just tell it is one for the ages as well.  I think we will be friends long after we have finished raising kids and playing with grandkids.  At least that is my sincere prayer.  When I think of the Proverbs 31 woman, Melissa is one woman who comes to my mind.  I pray for her often and think of her just as much.

 

I hope I've told you how much our friendship means to me Melissa, and forgive me if I haven't. I love you and I am grateful for you!

 

 

Lisa Holt-Darrow

Today I am grateful for...

Lisa Holt-Darrow

 

Lisa was my very first friend...I can remember her being there as long as I remember my own brothers!  She lived one house over on Harrison Street, and we were pretty much inseperable from early childhood through Junior High when life took us into different directions. We still have contact today, through Facebook and my frequesnt visits to Romulus when she happens to be at her Mom's house.  There was an amazing magic we had on Harrison Street. I'm not sure if all streets had what we had, but for many, many years, nobody moved in or out of the subdivision - and we all knew each other.  We would spend the hours after school playing outdoors - spring, summer, winter and fall. We were not like the sissy children and young people today who dare to let a snow day come and go without destroying that beautiful white blanket of fluffy fun!  I still can't get over it when the kids have the day off of school, and the snow remains untouched all day long!  By 10am we were back inside thawing out with hot chocolate and marshmallows after thousands of snowball fights, a host of snow angels made, and a batallion of snow forts being built.  One cup of hot chocolate, mom checking for frostbite, and we were back at it until sun down!  I'll get off my soap box now!

 

Lisa had siblings who were much older than we were, so she was sort of like an only child.  By the time we were old enough for sleepovers, she was the only child left in the house - so we usually chose her house for them!  Imagine, she didn't want to come where there were 3 smelly boys in the room next door.  When summertime rolled around, we had the time of our lives.  By 9am we were meeting at the street light, and making the plans for the days activities.  Tag, Hide and Seek, Chinese Jump Rope just to name a few.  There were lots of other kids - but mostly boys - ick - so Lisa and I stuck together.  I remember Gloria and Sunshine would be with us on most days, but no matter what, it was Lisa and I. 

 

We went through young crushes together, fights with the other girls on the block - but never with each other. I don't remember ever having had a fight or even a disagreement with Lisa.  She came with us to church on many Sundays, and I am glad to say she found her love for the Lord at Southgate Apostolic Church all those years ago.

 

When we were in Junior High, we had a whole system for half days of school.  Our moms worked, so we came home and we were HUNGRY! Well, luckily there was a Hungry Howies right around the corner...too far to walk - but they had delivery!  They always had buy one get one free - yes, I've been a Savings Angel since Junior High!  We would call, place the order for delivery  and get the total - it was $6.06 - can you imagine that for 2 cheese and pepperoni pizzas, delivered??  Well, the cute delivery boy would show us with our steaming hot pizzas - and what did we give him?  $3.03 each - who knew what a tip was, and by the time we had raided our piggy banks, we barely had much left. I think about that often, and always when we order pizza for delivery. I always tip my drivers well now - trying to make up for the sins of my past, I suppose!

 

After Junior High, and we lost our brother, Tommy, Lisa and I began to drift apart.  I'm not exactly sure why, but we  started running around with different crowds, and suddenly we weren't together all the time.  We were still teenagers when her first son was born - on my older brother, Steve's birthday - April 16th.  She named him James Joseph - yes, little Jimi Joe was a cutie to be sure. But he wasn't to be long for this world. Not long after he was born, my dad and I went to the NICU at the hospital and had special prayer for him with his mom, but it was only a matter of a few more days, and the Lord took him home.  That was such a terrible time for Lisa, and I remember not knowing how to console her, having just gone through the loss of my brother not too long before - the loss of a child seemed so much harder.  With the help of the Lord, Lisa got through that tragedy at such a young age. I do believe it changed her a great deal. She became the most understanding and ultra compassionate person, always wanting to help and do for others.

 

Just this past spring, Lisa lost her dad - we happened to be in Romulus and saw all the cars at her moms house. When I went to investigate, I found myself at Clinnon's wake.  It was odd to see all the Holt children together under one roof, now with children and grandchildren of their own.  Where did the years go?

 

We don't see each other or get together as much as I would like to - but we are FB friends, and she has posted some of the most hilarious photos of our childhood escapades.  Those friends from the time in our life when everything is good and there is no pressure or stress and it just one summer day to the next are the friends we never forget.  We may not know what is happening in each others worlds at the moment, but one phone call and we are back like we never stopped talking. 

 

I love my friend, Lisa...and I am grateful that she was there just when I needed her!

 

Amy & Lisa at Cedar Pointe..just a few years ago!

Deanna Mangold

Today I am grateful for...

Aunt D

 

 

So, I'm certain by now you've noticed that I have alot of aunts in my life.  Be they blood related, or not, yes, I have been blessed with an abundance of women with wisdom to impart and generosity overflowing.  I am so blessed.  Aunt Deanna, (Aunt D) is also my mom's sister,and the youngest of the sisters.  Like Auntie, I grew up having Aunt D in my life as a constant presence, mostly because we all attended the same church.  This made it nice because we could see our cousins at least once, if not twice each week - so we could always keep up with what was happening in each other's lives.  Aunt D's daughter, Margie (my cousin) is a mere 6 weeks my senior. That used to drive me CRAZY...now however, not so much! After all, this meant she turned 40 before I!  Margie and I were like sisters, and this meant that Aunt D, much like Auntie was another mother to me. 

 

My earlist memories are of Aunt D being my Sunday School teacher. I think I was about 5 or 6, and my birthday fell on a Sunday. She had everyone in the class (mostly my cousins, but a few friends as well) write me a birthday note and make me a card.  I came into the class and everyone was waiting to give me their contribution.  One thing one could always count on, was Aunt D having a camera. Yes, I do believe that she has immortalized me more than any other.  During my parents move, I came upon the photos of that birthday, and I enjoyed reminiscing all by myself.

 

For the most part, my memories of Aunt D when I was little consist of everyone together at church, holidays or family functions. I have many more personal memories of Aunt D and I as I became an adult.  There was one particular season in my life, I know it was after high school, and before I took my first real job, where we spent many nights each week together.  She asked me to begin helping her keep the records at church, and she would train me on these nights.  I would come from my apartment in Ypsilanti to her home in Westland, we would share dinner - Taco Bell, furnished by Aunt D - and we would get to work.  When I had learned the bookwork, we began to learn how to put the information on the computer. This is not, however, the computer that we all know and can't live without today. Oh no..we are talking about 100 pounds of gray plastic housing a 5 in by 5 in, amber or green colored screen, and the only mouse in the house was the old fashioned Mickey card hanging on the corkboard.  It was an exercise in torture trying to clean out old files, enter new ones and keep everything running .  We shared many laughs and tears over those weeks and months.

 

After I had my second bariatric surgery (about 10 years after a failed stomach stapling), Aunt D was there to bring me home.  I was supposed to be on liquids only, but I hadn't eaten in SOOOO long, I was ready for something...Spaghettios will do nicely!  She fixed me what I asked for, watch me take one delicious bite, and stayed with me while I threw up for the next 3 hours, in terrible pain! 

 

Aunt D taught me many things...mostly about bookeeping, organizing files, keeping track of invoices, etc.  When she was done, I was ready to take on the administrative duties for any major corporation. She is all about the details.

 

She also is a lover of all things "holiday". Not just Christmas...noooo, Aunt D decorated her hose and yard for every single holiday on the calendar. We are talking May Day, 4th of July, Labor Day and I bet she has some "Mardi Gras" decorations if she looked hard enough. Her home was always lit up and so festive.  I couldn't wait to see what it would look like.

 

We even spent some time cleaning our church together.  There is nothing that is more satisfying and rewarding than seeing an auditorium go from cluttered, dirty and disorganized, to sparkling and ready for Sunday.  There is such humility and honor in that position. We listened to music, talked, laughed, prayed and even cried sometimes.

 

When she lost her husband, my Uncle Rodger, she lost the love of her life. He passed just shortly after Jeff and I were married. I do believe his was one of the first funerals we attended together. Uncle Rog was something else...a definite character, yet, a man with character.  I know how much I miss him...I can't imagine how much she does.  It seems since then, she's been trying to find her new "normal".  She has moved and moved again, suffered accidents and painful surgeries with even more painful therapy and recoveries - but she never lets it get her down. She always has a word of encouragement for someone.  That is a true example of Christ in us.

 

I have enjoyed telling you all about the wonderful "Aunties" God has placed in my life...Aunt D, you are loved, missed, and most of all, appreciated!



Yvonne Porter

For the first time in 10 days, I missed my nightly post...I made a last minute decision to sleep over at my mom's, and with no internet connection, I was unable to do my blog for yesterday...but I'm determined to catch up, so..

Today I am thankful for...

Auntie

 

So, I've already told you that I feel there is a special relationship between aunts and neices in one of my earlier posts, and my relationship with my Aunt Yvonne...aka "Auntie" is no exception. Auntie is my moms sister, and has always been a big part of my life.

Some of my earliest memories are of family holidays at Aunties house. She really knows how to throw a party, and she taught me everything I know about entertaining. She always has an open door and word of encouragement for anyone in need. During the summer vacations, I would spend nearly one weekend a month over at Aunties house. We would watch movies, go shopping, and best of all, CRAFT! Auntie is one of the most talented and creative ladies I know. Sewing and quilting are her specialties. So how convenient that she works at JoAnn fabrics...like the mouse in charge of the cheese! Her basement is a mini JoAnns with anything and everytthing craft related. Any crafters dream!

Auntie has taught me so many things, and has always been more than generous to me and everyone she knows. There have been many times when I have complimented a piece of jewelry that she was wearing, or O a bag she was carrying only to have her take it off, or empty it out and give it to me on the spot. Her generous nature really knows no boundaries. One of my fondest memories is when I was turning 14. That year was one of the most challenging and difficult years of my life. I was no longer going to school by this time, as the rheumatoid arthritis that I battle was in full flair up.  I was pretty lonely. When my birthday rolled around, Auntie informed me that she would be throwing me a birthday party...and it was to be a sleepover! I invited some of my cousins and a few close friends. When we got to the house, it was a teenage girls dream party. Decorations started at the mailbox and got bigger and better as we made our way inside. There were goodie boxes made for each girl, with their name painted on it. They were filled with candy, treats, and all things girly! Her son, and my cousin Mark - then also 14 - was in a rock band, so I even had a band at my party!  It was everything I could have wanted for my 14th birthday.

Auntie's talent extends to music...the piano. Oh how I envy her ability. She can sit down and make a piano sing like none other.  I remember from my youngest days at church seeing her on the piano or the organ, pounding out praise and worship, or lightly playing a song while the Holy Spirit ministered throughout the congregation.  She has only just recently given this responsibility over, but I know she can still play.

She is also a wonderful sister and daughter.  Just a few weeks ago she and my other Aunt - Deanna (you'll hear more about her soon!) made the trip from Detroit to Muskegon with my grandma - my mom's mom.  They made it to surprise my mom who had just moved away and was feeling a little homesick. It was a long and tough drive with my elderly and blind grandma - and only for 2 days - but oh what a good time we had!

I could go on an on with memories of Auntie - but maybe another day.  For now, I will say good-bye and tell her how much I love her, and I hope she knows what an influence she has been on me!

Auntie, My mom and Aunt Dee!