I hope I've hooked a few of you who know me well, and caught you with that title and caused you to ask, "Amy? Fishing? I think NOT!"
And you would be correct. I prefer my seafood neatly wrapped in white butchers paper at the local market, no heads, tails or icky "innards" to dispose of, & ready for me to cook - for someone ELSE!
So why is it my season for fishing? Because the Lord promised me that if I cast aside my own nets, and follow Him, He would make me a fisher of men...and women. That has always been my heart's desire...to win men and women to Christ. The desire became much stronger after my Grandpa, Bishop Allen Parent, passed away this summer. Hearing the stories of how he touched so many men and women in his 89 years has left me with the deep desire to live up to his heritage and the legacy of his life's work. When I leave this earth, I want people to say, "You knew she loved the Lord", and "she never was ashamed to preach the Gospel".
I've been fishing all my life...some times more than others. There were years when I never even baited a hook. If I am honest with myself, and you, there were some years I never even got the pole out! But here I am, a living example that repentance and turning from my wrong ways that yields forgiveness and a fresh start. I've been blessed to be raised up in "the church". So many years I wasted thinking it was my right instead of my privilege. I'm so glad that those selfish and unproductive years are behind me.
For you young people (and not so young people alike!) out there who think that you can do it without the Lord...my advice is don't waste too much time trying to prove it! The longer you spend outside of His protection, the harder it is to find your way back. You may be experiencing "blessings" but don't forget that there are probably folks out there praying for you, and holding you up to the Almighty...He may only be answering their prayers, for which you are reaping the rewards. Never underestimate the power of a praying mother! The bible is pretty clear on what it means to have a walk for Christ, and what it means to NOT have one. Sin separates you from God - period! SO if you are living with any type of sin that you justify with "God knows my heart" and "everyone sins", I challenge you to stop trying to justify a sinful lifestyle, and give your life back to the Lord, who gave it to you to begin with. If you think you are being blessed now, just wait until you return...oh my, how Jesus LOVES a prodigal who has come to their senses!!
As I enter 2014, I'm reminded of the year gone by, and wishing I hadn't spent so much time trying to "help" people who really didn't want my help. I realize there are people in this world who will just use you and use you and use you...especially through your work in ministry. After all, aren't we supposed to forgive and turn the other cheek? Well, not if the outcome continues to be the same, and there is no change, and the help becomes enabling. In the Gospels, when men and women would not hear the testimony of His disciples, God told his men to shake the old dust off their feet and move on. I'll continue to be in prayer for those who have used me and my time and my resources for their own personal gain..but my prayer has changed a bit. I pray that Lord will not let them have a moments peace while they behave in this selfish way.
I refuse to stop believing that there is good in people, but I will stop trying to find the good in those who are doing such an amazing job of hiding it from me. Instead, I will go forward and find new people who need and more importantly, who want I have to share, people who are tired of living a life for themselves and want to live a life for Christ. For those people, I am sold out, ready to pour all that I have and more into helping them enjoy the blessings and favor that I have so often testified about. This is not a walk for the timid or the faint of heart. Get ready to roll up your sleeves and DO YOUR WORK! I've done my work, and oh, what a reward I have received. The best part is, I have another reward waiting for me! It just keeps getting better!
This year, the Lord has led me to "cast my net on the other side". Are you spending time with those who are just sucking the very life from you? Do you have those people whose calls come in and you ponder, "what is today's drama going to be?" Or those who will take all you have to give, and then ask for more...but when you try to get them to help another, maybe do a little work, they disappear, or their schedule just won't allow it? I do...or at least, I used to. No more. They are going to see a new Amy this year. You will either do your work like I've done mine, or you can stay in that chaos and confusion that you navigate so very well. Sadly, I'm sure they will be able to find another person to exploit and use. But I can't be concerned with that. I'm trusting in God for what I cannot control.
Here I go, dusting off my shoes, and casting my nets on the other side of the boat. Anxiously awaiting the catch of new men and women who will be as on fire for the Lord as I am, and who will be willing to do their work! Anyone want to go with me?
Happy 2014
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Monday, August 26, 2013
Preparing to say "Good-Bye to Grandpa...
No, strike that...I'm going to say, "I'll see you in the morning, Grandpa!"
Much Better!
As I am crazy busy with preparations to travel to the "D" as my big brother, Steve Big House Anderson so lovingly calls Detroit (I stopped telling folks in Muskegon that I was going to Romulus or Southgate...they would inevitably say "where?" and I would say, "near Detroit", "Oh, yeah, I know where that is!"), I can't help but continue to recall the memories with my grandfather, Bishop Allen Parent.
One such memory came flooding back as I gave a testimony at church this past Sunday..and I'm sure most of my cousins will remember this..Grandpa trying to make us sing at the Christmas Eve parties at Auntie's house. We always started with Christmas carols, but soon enough we were into the songs of Zion - from the Lanny Wolfe Trio and the Gaither's to Andre Crouch and countless more...Grandpa (and probably my mom, Rebecca Parent-Anderson)crying and Auntie's fingers cramping at the piano. "Sing for me, Amy Joy" as he and my uncles call me (not sure why, my middle name is Rebecca, but I am a Joy, so - sorry, SQUIRREL!) and being just 5 or 6 years old at the time, I had NO INTENTION of singing out loud in front of at least 100 people (that's what it felt like at those parties). "I don't wanna sing, Papa." All I wanted to do was open my present and get home to wait for Christmas to start! "But dear, this might be my last Christmas." Nothing like good old fashioned guilt, straight from the master! SO, sing I did - and the years went on, and as I became a teenager and he would make his plea, I remember thinking, "If you put that 'this-might-be-my-Last Christmas' statement is writing, I'll sing all night long"!
Yet here I am, packing up, and evidently, last Christmas, he finally meant it... and of course, I wasn't there to sing. The song "I Need Thee" comes to mind when I think of him singing. The church could be on fire with the Holy Ghost all over the house, and folks dancing and shouting to the Lord all around - but when grandpa got up to give remarks, "I Need Thee" was his song. If you don't know it, it's just about the slowest song one can sing, but oh the power in those words.
I miss him already, even though I've been away from him almost 10 years. I miss knowing that when I travel to the big city once a month, I won't be able to stop in and see him and Gram together at the lunch table, patiently waiting for their food - faces lighting up when they realize they have company. I'm ashamed for the first few years of my marriage when I didn't bother to go visit - excuses like being too busy, not liking the nursing home, or any other lame excuse I could call upon. But the lessons learned at his and my grandma's knees - those I will never forget. Like "Always be a man (or a woman, as the case may be), Always plead the blood of Jesus Christ when I'm in trouble, and remembering that anyone I have to carry, won't make it anyway (I'm dealing with this in my life right now). He taught me about being proud of my heritage and who I am...telling me when I would go to visit another church on my travels - "Make sure you tell them who you are." He meant for me to tell them that I was his granddaughter...but I've learned that now wherever I go, I should tell them not only who I am, but WHOSE I am. And most importantly, though he never taught me this with his words, he exemplified NEVER BEING ASHAMED OF THE GOSPEL OF JESUS CHRIST! I can remember being more than a little embarrassed when we would walk into a restaurant, Grandpa wearing his hat, laden with little metal pins that he'd pilfered, begged and borrowed, announcing to all who would hear, "What have you got for this old Bishop?" No one ever accused him of being subtle...but it no doubt started the conversation, that usually ended in him giving someone the church business card with the "How Many F's" puzzle on the back...because "if you could be wrong about how many F's were in that paragraph, you could be wrong about the bible."
I wonder how many souls he has led to the Lord, and they have led, and so on? I'm sure the number is countless. Can I say the same thing? Am I bold enough to walk into Wesco and begin to share my testimony with the others getting their Icee's? Truthfully, sometimes yes, most times, no. But oh, how I desire to have that gift...now more than ever. I want to live up to the name I was born with - not on March 14, 1972, but on March 20, 1980 when I went down in that beautiful name of Jesus Christ and came up whiter than snow, or on September 9, 1980 - when I received the gift of the Holy Ghost, speaking in other tongues as the Spirit gave me utterance. It was then I was given the name of "Child of the One True King" (thank you, Matthew West!)
So tomorrow, my family and I will pack up our mini van, and head to the "D" and say our final farewell to my grandfather, Bishop Allen Parent. What a homegoing service it will be. Rest well, Grandpa...you have earned it! See you soon - and don't start spoiling Tommie Lee again...he's probably just getting his head back to normal size!
I NEED THEE
OH, I NEED THEE
EVERY HOUR, I NEED THEE
OH BLESS MY NOW, MY SAVIOR
I COME TO THEE
PASS ME NOT
O GENTLE SAVIOR
HEAR MY HUMBLE CRY
WHILE ON OTHERS THOU ARE CALLING
DO NOT PASS ME BY
SAVIOR, SAVIOR
HEAR MY HUMBLE CRY
WHILE ON OTHERS THOU ARE CALLING
DO NOT PASS ME BY
Much Better!
As I am crazy busy with preparations to travel to the "D" as my big brother, Steve Big House Anderson so lovingly calls Detroit (I stopped telling folks in Muskegon that I was going to Romulus or Southgate...they would inevitably say "where?" and I would say, "near Detroit", "Oh, yeah, I know where that is!"), I can't help but continue to recall the memories with my grandfather, Bishop Allen Parent.
One such memory came flooding back as I gave a testimony at church this past Sunday..and I'm sure most of my cousins will remember this..Grandpa trying to make us sing at the Christmas Eve parties at Auntie's house. We always started with Christmas carols, but soon enough we were into the songs of Zion - from the Lanny Wolfe Trio and the Gaither's to Andre Crouch and countless more...Grandpa (and probably my mom, Rebecca Parent-Anderson)crying and Auntie's fingers cramping at the piano. "Sing for me, Amy Joy" as he and my uncles call me (not sure why, my middle name is Rebecca, but I am a Joy, so - sorry, SQUIRREL!) and being just 5 or 6 years old at the time, I had NO INTENTION of singing out loud in front of at least 100 people (that's what it felt like at those parties). "I don't wanna sing, Papa." All I wanted to do was open my present and get home to wait for Christmas to start! "But dear, this might be my last Christmas." Nothing like good old fashioned guilt, straight from the master! SO, sing I did - and the years went on, and as I became a teenager and he would make his plea, I remember thinking, "If you put that 'this-might-be-my-Last Christmas' statement is writing, I'll sing all night long"!
Yet here I am, packing up, and evidently, last Christmas, he finally meant it... and of course, I wasn't there to sing. The song "I Need Thee" comes to mind when I think of him singing. The church could be on fire with the Holy Ghost all over the house, and folks dancing and shouting to the Lord all around - but when grandpa got up to give remarks, "I Need Thee" was his song. If you don't know it, it's just about the slowest song one can sing, but oh the power in those words.
I miss him already, even though I've been away from him almost 10 years. I miss knowing that when I travel to the big city once a month, I won't be able to stop in and see him and Gram together at the lunch table, patiently waiting for their food - faces lighting up when they realize they have company. I'm ashamed for the first few years of my marriage when I didn't bother to go visit - excuses like being too busy, not liking the nursing home, or any other lame excuse I could call upon. But the lessons learned at his and my grandma's knees - those I will never forget. Like "Always be a man (or a woman, as the case may be), Always plead the blood of Jesus Christ when I'm in trouble, and remembering that anyone I have to carry, won't make it anyway (I'm dealing with this in my life right now). He taught me about being proud of my heritage and who I am...telling me when I would go to visit another church on my travels - "Make sure you tell them who you are." He meant for me to tell them that I was his granddaughter...but I've learned that now wherever I go, I should tell them not only who I am, but WHOSE I am. And most importantly, though he never taught me this with his words, he exemplified NEVER BEING ASHAMED OF THE GOSPEL OF JESUS CHRIST! I can remember being more than a little embarrassed when we would walk into a restaurant, Grandpa wearing his hat, laden with little metal pins that he'd pilfered, begged and borrowed, announcing to all who would hear, "What have you got for this old Bishop?" No one ever accused him of being subtle...but it no doubt started the conversation, that usually ended in him giving someone the church business card with the "How Many F's" puzzle on the back...because "if you could be wrong about how many F's were in that paragraph, you could be wrong about the bible."
I wonder how many souls he has led to the Lord, and they have led, and so on? I'm sure the number is countless. Can I say the same thing? Am I bold enough to walk into Wesco and begin to share my testimony with the others getting their Icee's? Truthfully, sometimes yes, most times, no. But oh, how I desire to have that gift...now more than ever. I want to live up to the name I was born with - not on March 14, 1972, but on March 20, 1980 when I went down in that beautiful name of Jesus Christ and came up whiter than snow, or on September 9, 1980 - when I received the gift of the Holy Ghost, speaking in other tongues as the Spirit gave me utterance. It was then I was given the name of "Child of the One True King" (thank you, Matthew West!)
So tomorrow, my family and I will pack up our mini van, and head to the "D" and say our final farewell to my grandfather, Bishop Allen Parent. What a homegoing service it will be. Rest well, Grandpa...you have earned it! See you soon - and don't start spoiling Tommie Lee again...he's probably just getting his head back to normal size!
I NEED THEE
OH, I NEED THEE
EVERY HOUR, I NEED THEE
OH BLESS MY NOW, MY SAVIOR
I COME TO THEE
PASS ME NOT
O GENTLE SAVIOR
HEAR MY HUMBLE CRY
WHILE ON OTHERS THOU ARE CALLING
DO NOT PASS ME BY
SAVIOR, SAVIOR
HEAR MY HUMBLE CRY
WHILE ON OTHERS THOU ARE CALLING
DO NOT PASS ME BY
Saturday, July 13, 2013
The Love Dare
It's been awhile since I've written, and the direction of my life has changed considerably...but all in good ways. The transformation has been difficult and often painful...but necessary.
Having my mom and dad move to Muskegon has been a blessing in so many ways. The obvious is that I can be closer to them for emergencies and needs, which has proven to be very important over the past few months. It dawned on me on July 4th that it was just a year ago at this time of the year that I began to introduce the idea of them moving to the west side of the state. my mom was relatively compliant, my dad - not so much (which is why I think my mom's compliance was so easily won..she knew my dad was gonna dig in and so no for the both of them anyway!) Fast forward 12 months...here they are, all moved in. Everything in Romulus has been handled, and with the exception of the sale of the house, there are no more ties (excpet familial) to the East side of the state. It has been an exercise in change, challenge, fear, and most of all, exhaustion. I can't be at my mom's house enough it seems. There is always so much to be done or to get ready to be done. Thank God for an understanding husband and an oblivious teenager. The days, weeks and months of sandwiches, hot dogs and the occasional pizza suppers are a testimony to my absence in our home.
Jeff has been more than patient, more than kind and way more understanding than any wife has the right to expect her husband to be. He has needs that I should be meeting here, and instead of that happening, I come home and find a mopped kitchen floor and vacuumed family room, and a sleeping husband - once again. I feel bad, I feel a failure and I fear he won't stand for it much longer.
WHAT DOES A DAUGHTER AND A WIFE DO?
Enter, the Love Dare! It was a few years back that two of my best friends, Karri Gordon and her mom, Linda Strait, began a ladies Bible Study, using the Stormie Omartian boook - the Power of a Praying Wife, and accompanied it with the Love Dare. We met faithfully for almost a year - we missed every now and again, but for the most part, Monday's at 11am would find us sitting around Karri's kitchen table having coffee or an Icee (depending on the season), catching up the week prior and digging into the Word of God and some amazing help from an excellent author on how we can be better wives through prayer. Unfortunately, life got busy, Karri got pregnant, Julie got married, Linda's hours got changed, and BAM...our Mondays are a thing of the past. We spoke often about starting up again and again, only to have something stand in our way, time after time. Eventually, we just quit trying, and soon enough, our weeks were filled with family busyness as never before.
FFWD one year...my folks are all settled in (to the best of all of our abilities), Karri is now the mother of FOUR, with baby Colin getting ready to turn 1, and unfortunately, Ms. Linda still has the difficult work hours...but I'm trying to set a stage-work with me! A new young woman and her husband have been attending our church, and she was looking for ladies to get together and do a Bible Study with, and Karri and I - though we had long stopped talking about it - were always hopeful of starting up again. So, here I am, with a husband who has demonstrated the patience of a saint over the past 12 months, and looking for a Bible Study for myself and two other wives with husbands who are in need of more of their time. The Love Dare it is - but this time, we do the Love Dare solo...not with another study, and not a slow pace - but the 40 days the book calls for. We began on July 1, 2013. I know that so far, it seems that Jeff really doesn't see anything different - but what a change it has made in me! It has reminded me that it is not about hw Jeff reacts - but about how I react to his reaction. The tone of our marriage can be swayed with the tender touch on the hand during dinner prayer, a a quick text that says "I Love You"...especially since he doesn't know how to text a reply!
The girls and I have committed to completing the dare, no matter how busy our schedules get or how ornery our husbands get. We are also committed to holding each other accountable. Thats what has been missing for me - I need accountability to keep me on track. Just like walking 4 time a week, and Ms. Coretta texting and reminding me "So, are you coming?" I have Karri and Dawn who are there reminding me that it isn't about Jeff and his reaction to the things I do or have stopped doing, but how I am day to day - and the same from me to them.
I'm encouraged this far - some days have been much more difficult than others, but each day has been an experience with the Lord and something new to learn about myself or my husband. I'm looking forward to sharing some of the results from our challenge here - as it makes things real once you put it on the internet, right? BonJOUR!
If you are of a mind to - keep the three of us and our husbands in your prayers - we are dedicated to praying for one another, but it is difficult not to pray for myself and my needs during this time, but trusting in my sisters to stand in the gap for me, as I am for them. I'm looking forward to reporting good and positive things over the next days and weeks.
Thank you - with all my heart.
"Normal Day, Let Me Be Aware of the Treasure You Are"
Having my mom and dad move to Muskegon has been a blessing in so many ways. The obvious is that I can be closer to them for emergencies and needs, which has proven to be very important over the past few months. It dawned on me on July 4th that it was just a year ago at this time of the year that I began to introduce the idea of them moving to the west side of the state. my mom was relatively compliant, my dad - not so much (which is why I think my mom's compliance was so easily won..she knew my dad was gonna dig in and so no for the both of them anyway!) Fast forward 12 months...here they are, all moved in. Everything in Romulus has been handled, and with the exception of the sale of the house, there are no more ties (excpet familial) to the East side of the state. It has been an exercise in change, challenge, fear, and most of all, exhaustion. I can't be at my mom's house enough it seems. There is always so much to be done or to get ready to be done. Thank God for an understanding husband and an oblivious teenager. The days, weeks and months of sandwiches, hot dogs and the occasional pizza suppers are a testimony to my absence in our home.
Jeff has been more than patient, more than kind and way more understanding than any wife has the right to expect her husband to be. He has needs that I should be meeting here, and instead of that happening, I come home and find a mopped kitchen floor and vacuumed family room, and a sleeping husband - once again. I feel bad, I feel a failure and I fear he won't stand for it much longer.
WHAT DOES A DAUGHTER AND A WIFE DO?
Enter, the Love Dare! It was a few years back that two of my best friends, Karri Gordon and her mom, Linda Strait, began a ladies Bible Study, using the Stormie Omartian boook - the Power of a Praying Wife, and accompanied it with the Love Dare. We met faithfully for almost a year - we missed every now and again, but for the most part, Monday's at 11am would find us sitting around Karri's kitchen table having coffee or an Icee (depending on the season), catching up the week prior and digging into the Word of God and some amazing help from an excellent author on how we can be better wives through prayer. Unfortunately, life got busy, Karri got pregnant, Julie got married, Linda's hours got changed, and BAM...our Mondays are a thing of the past. We spoke often about starting up again and again, only to have something stand in our way, time after time. Eventually, we just quit trying, and soon enough, our weeks were filled with family busyness as never before.
FFWD one year...my folks are all settled in (to the best of all of our abilities), Karri is now the mother of FOUR, with baby Colin getting ready to turn 1, and unfortunately, Ms. Linda still has the difficult work hours...but I'm trying to set a stage-work with me! A new young woman and her husband have been attending our church, and she was looking for ladies to get together and do a Bible Study with, and Karri and I - though we had long stopped talking about it - were always hopeful of starting up again. So, here I am, with a husband who has demonstrated the patience of a saint over the past 12 months, and looking for a Bible Study for myself and two other wives with husbands who are in need of more of their time. The Love Dare it is - but this time, we do the Love Dare solo...not with another study, and not a slow pace - but the 40 days the book calls for. We began on July 1, 2013. I know that so far, it seems that Jeff really doesn't see anything different - but what a change it has made in me! It has reminded me that it is not about hw Jeff reacts - but about how I react to his reaction. The tone of our marriage can be swayed with the tender touch on the hand during dinner prayer, a a quick text that says "I Love You"...especially since he doesn't know how to text a reply!
The girls and I have committed to completing the dare, no matter how busy our schedules get or how ornery our husbands get. We are also committed to holding each other accountable. Thats what has been missing for me - I need accountability to keep me on track. Just like walking 4 time a week, and Ms. Coretta texting and reminding me "So, are you coming?" I have Karri and Dawn who are there reminding me that it isn't about Jeff and his reaction to the things I do or have stopped doing, but how I am day to day - and the same from me to them.
I'm encouraged this far - some days have been much more difficult than others, but each day has been an experience with the Lord and something new to learn about myself or my husband. I'm looking forward to sharing some of the results from our challenge here - as it makes things real once you put it on the internet, right? BonJOUR!
If you are of a mind to - keep the three of us and our husbands in your prayers - we are dedicated to praying for one another, but it is difficult not to pray for myself and my needs during this time, but trusting in my sisters to stand in the gap for me, as I am for them. I'm looking forward to reporting good and positive things over the next days and weeks.
Thank you - with all my heart.
"Normal Day, Let Me Be Aware of the Treasure You Are"
Sunday, February 24, 2013
and finally..my mom
Today I am grateful for:
From my earliest memories, my mom stands smack dab in the center of my world. I'm the only girl with 3 brothers, so it was just she and I representing for the ladies in the Anderson Household. For me this meant having my own room in a 3 bedroom house..yes, my brothers all shared one room - it looked like military barracks, minus the organization! This also meant a great deal of quality mother/daughter time.
My childhood was a charmed one. I can't even begin to say how grateful I am for that. My house was a home - not only to my family, but to anyone who might need a home at the time. I can recall at least 3 people who lived with us for an extended period of time while they were getting their lives straightened around. This meant sharing Thanksgiving, Christmas and whatever holiday was coming on the calendar with a stranger. My mom made our home a place of safety. I never felt afraid or unloved in my home. We may not have had alot, but what we had, my mom kept nice.
We spent the months during the school year pretty heavily scheduled. My mom is a fan of planning ahead. The summers were a bit different. We would take the days one at a time and depending on the weather or something that was going on in the family, the day would plan itself.
Some of my favorite memories are of the summers we spent Up North. I know that the term "up north" means something different to everyone. To us, "Up North" meant going to Grandpa and Grandmas cottage in Cheboygan, right on Lake Huron. Oh how we would be so excited to get into one of our old Buicks for a six hour ride filled with "are we there yet?' or "he's touching me!" When finally we would hit 31 North, it was a matter of miles before UTA Lane was upon us. Turning into the woods, it seemed we were going into the wilderness, but then a maze of roads and cottages would appear, and as we came down the hill on Uta Lane, the lake would come into view - so beautiful and blue. We couldn't wait to get out of the car to get to the beach. First, to bring everything into the cottage, we began an assembly line. The cottage next door was owned by my Grandpa's sister and brother in law - Uncle Steve and Aunt Adelia...and their scary dog, "Cookie". Cookie looked like a monster from a horror movie. He was a beach dog and stayed outdoors most of the time. Technically, his coat was white - but a nice creamy tan was as good as that was getting. He was matted with leaves and beach grass and smelled like fish. I was afraid of Cookie!
Once we got everything into the cottage, it was to the beach! After all, thats why we were there. I'm about to frighten some of my younger readers - you might want to skip the rest of this paragraph if you were born in the 80's or later. The reason we wanted to get right to the beach was because there was no cable or satellite (which was really not a problem, since there wasn't a tv either). There was no computer or internet service, and no telephone for that matter. There was no jungle gym, swings or activity center...we were on the lake! My mom would always take us into town to the local Ben Franklin store to get some arts and crafts for the rainy days. Otherwise, we had board games, Rook and all the Dominos we could play. The time we spent together up north were some of the best in my life. I remember the day after we buried our little brother, our family went to the cottage just to get away for a few days, and how different it was to have only 5 and not 6 people there. My mom always made our trips a time of good fun and excitement.
Other summer excursions to places like Belle Isle, Boblo Island, Greenfield Village & Henry Ford Museum and of course, Cedar Pointe - all such a treat to us because we didn't make these trips frequently. She always made sure we had a fun time.
I was always overweight as a child and into my teens, as was my mom. We tried with so many diets and programs for weight loss over the years that I have no idea how we stayed so heavy. It wouldn't matter what she was doing at the time. If I was upset at my weight and made the decision to start another diet, my mom would be right ther by my side, preparing the food and getting the information we needed. We really tried so hard, and we would lose some weight, only to put it back on, and a few more. Finally in 1988, we were introduced to Douglas Hess, MD. He practiced out of Bowling Green, Ohio and he was a pioneer in what is now called "gastric bypass" surgery. Back then it was something much more barbaric called stomach stapling. I remember the visit to his office when my mom asked him the only question that mattered to her at the time. If I have the surgery, will my daughter be able to have the surgery too? Her biggest concern was not to lose weight to be healthy for herself - but that she not leave me alone to be overweight. At that time, nobody under the age of 18 had ever had the surgery, so Dr. Hess had to do some research and some pretty extensive testing on me. In the end, it was actually the diagnosis of Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis (JRA) that pushed him to say yes. One of the main reasons he did not like to operate on teens was because they are still in the process of growing and changing. However, one side effect of JRA is that growth is typically stunted and stops around the age of 14. I was already as tall as I was ever going to be, and hadn't really grown (except in my weight, of course) since I was 13. So, May 10, 1988 - my best friend Angie's birthday, was the day my life changed forever, and I know my mom would agree. She asked that I have surgery first, and when I came out and she knew I was ok, she went in for hers. This was quite an ordeal to go through - and once again, we were going through it together. As we both lost weight over the course of the next 12months, it was so fun and exciting to buy clotes in sizes that I had never worn before. I went from little girl clothing right to women's size moomoos. This was such great time for my mom and I - though we met with some prejudice from those who were convinced that we were just lazy and if we wanted to lose weight, all we had to do was stop eating. We learned something from Dr. Hess that we hadn't known before. Food, like alcohol, cigarettes and drugs to some is an addiction. The problem with an addiction to food is that unlike alcohol or drugs, we need food to survive. A person can quit drinking or smoking - but one can't quit eating. You really have to decide what you need to live on and see the excess as the addiction. It is much more difficult than many think, and we are so glad that the stigma surrounding the weight loss surgery is much less vocal today than it was when we had it.
When you go through difficult times, it either strengthens a relationship or hinders it. I'm so glad to say that all the tough times have just served to make my relationship with my mom one that is completely unbreakable. She and I have seen each other at our worst and at our best - and we still love each other.
I feel bad because my mom carries much more guilt than she should about things of the past. Remembering that I've forgiven and usually even forgotten is difficult for her. I pray that she finds the strength to forgive herself fully one day. As far as I am concerned, those things were a test and a trick of the enemy to try to get us to give up our walk with Christ and our relationship with each other...TOO BAD!
My mom always has a testimony and a song in her heart that she is ready to share - no matter where she is or who she is with. I'm proud to be her daughter, and when I think about just a little bit of the suffering that she has endured in her lifetime, I get sad. She deserves happiness at this time in her life more than anyone I know. She has proven herself to be the Proverbs 31 woman in every way. She is a wife to be admired and emulated by young wives today, she is an awesome mother and grandmother - to her own and any who want to call her grandma. She is an incredible daughter, and so faithful to her mom and dad as they began to need her help in their later years. I know the move to Muskegon was difficult for my om because this meant she wouldn have to give up the serving of her mom and dad - but it was time. There are others willing to step up, and they have. It is time for my mom to be served as she has served others all her life. I'm so glad she is at home at Shekinah Christian. She has been a fixture here since we began the work, and to have her and my dad as a part of the ministry seems to be a divine appointment made so many years ago, fulfilled.
My entry here could go on and on (like it didn't, you say?) and I still couldn't tell all of the ways my mom has been an amazing example to me. I guess the greatest compliment I get is when someone tells me that I'm just like my mom, because I think she is just about the greatest person I know. Regardless of the tough times, our arguments, disagreements and spats - nothing has ever kept us from depending on each other. When the rubber meets the road and I'm really in trouble, she is always there to offer encouragement, advice and help - if only I would take it! I'm proud to say that I learned to accept help as an adult. It makes you much more mature than to fail because you were too proud to admit you didn't know what to do, or made a bad decision and didn't want to get caught in it. I pray that my children will always feel the freedom to come to me with their problems, and that together, with Gods help - we can get through them.
Lord, like so many other people, thank you for sending me the best mom in the world. With all my hurt and suffering, it took someone so special to be my mom through all of that. Thank you for not only making us mother and daughter, but for making us friends - in You. Bless her, heal her body and strengthen her in every way. Bring her the joy of her salvation one more time, and give us what we need, only for the day. Thank you for knowing the kind of mom I would need, and for giving her to me.
I love you mom!
Rebecca Anderson
I've really been thinking and praying about this particular post - because I want to do it justice. I pray that my mom feels the love and sincerity and most of all, the gratitude with which this is being written.From my earliest memories, my mom stands smack dab in the center of my world. I'm the only girl with 3 brothers, so it was just she and I representing for the ladies in the Anderson Household. For me this meant having my own room in a 3 bedroom house..yes, my brothers all shared one room - it looked like military barracks, minus the organization! This also meant a great deal of quality mother/daughter time.
My childhood was a charmed one. I can't even begin to say how grateful I am for that. My house was a home - not only to my family, but to anyone who might need a home at the time. I can recall at least 3 people who lived with us for an extended period of time while they were getting their lives straightened around. This meant sharing Thanksgiving, Christmas and whatever holiday was coming on the calendar with a stranger. My mom made our home a place of safety. I never felt afraid or unloved in my home. We may not have had alot, but what we had, my mom kept nice.
We spent the months during the school year pretty heavily scheduled. My mom is a fan of planning ahead. The summers were a bit different. We would take the days one at a time and depending on the weather or something that was going on in the family, the day would plan itself.
Some of my favorite memories are of the summers we spent Up North. I know that the term "up north" means something different to everyone. To us, "Up North" meant going to Grandpa and Grandmas cottage in Cheboygan, right on Lake Huron. Oh how we would be so excited to get into one of our old Buicks for a six hour ride filled with "are we there yet?' or "he's touching me!" When finally we would hit 31 North, it was a matter of miles before UTA Lane was upon us. Turning into the woods, it seemed we were going into the wilderness, but then a maze of roads and cottages would appear, and as we came down the hill on Uta Lane, the lake would come into view - so beautiful and blue. We couldn't wait to get out of the car to get to the beach. First, to bring everything into the cottage, we began an assembly line. The cottage next door was owned by my Grandpa's sister and brother in law - Uncle Steve and Aunt Adelia...and their scary dog, "Cookie". Cookie looked like a monster from a horror movie. He was a beach dog and stayed outdoors most of the time. Technically, his coat was white - but a nice creamy tan was as good as that was getting. He was matted with leaves and beach grass and smelled like fish. I was afraid of Cookie!
Once we got everything into the cottage, it was to the beach! After all, thats why we were there. I'm about to frighten some of my younger readers - you might want to skip the rest of this paragraph if you were born in the 80's or later. The reason we wanted to get right to the beach was because there was no cable or satellite (which was really not a problem, since there wasn't a tv either). There was no computer or internet service, and no telephone for that matter. There was no jungle gym, swings or activity center...we were on the lake! My mom would always take us into town to the local Ben Franklin store to get some arts and crafts for the rainy days. Otherwise, we had board games, Rook and all the Dominos we could play. The time we spent together up north were some of the best in my life. I remember the day after we buried our little brother, our family went to the cottage just to get away for a few days, and how different it was to have only 5 and not 6 people there. My mom always made our trips a time of good fun and excitement.
Other summer excursions to places like Belle Isle, Boblo Island, Greenfield Village & Henry Ford Museum and of course, Cedar Pointe - all such a treat to us because we didn't make these trips frequently. She always made sure we had a fun time.
I was always overweight as a child and into my teens, as was my mom. We tried with so many diets and programs for weight loss over the years that I have no idea how we stayed so heavy. It wouldn't matter what she was doing at the time. If I was upset at my weight and made the decision to start another diet, my mom would be right ther by my side, preparing the food and getting the information we needed. We really tried so hard, and we would lose some weight, only to put it back on, and a few more. Finally in 1988, we were introduced to Douglas Hess, MD. He practiced out of Bowling Green, Ohio and he was a pioneer in what is now called "gastric bypass" surgery. Back then it was something much more barbaric called stomach stapling. I remember the visit to his office when my mom asked him the only question that mattered to her at the time. If I have the surgery, will my daughter be able to have the surgery too? Her biggest concern was not to lose weight to be healthy for herself - but that she not leave me alone to be overweight. At that time, nobody under the age of 18 had ever had the surgery, so Dr. Hess had to do some research and some pretty extensive testing on me. In the end, it was actually the diagnosis of Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis (JRA) that pushed him to say yes. One of the main reasons he did not like to operate on teens was because they are still in the process of growing and changing. However, one side effect of JRA is that growth is typically stunted and stops around the age of 14. I was already as tall as I was ever going to be, and hadn't really grown (except in my weight, of course) since I was 13. So, May 10, 1988 - my best friend Angie's birthday, was the day my life changed forever, and I know my mom would agree. She asked that I have surgery first, and when I came out and she knew I was ok, she went in for hers. This was quite an ordeal to go through - and once again, we were going through it together. As we both lost weight over the course of the next 12months, it was so fun and exciting to buy clotes in sizes that I had never worn before. I went from little girl clothing right to women's size moomoos. This was such great time for my mom and I - though we met with some prejudice from those who were convinced that we were just lazy and if we wanted to lose weight, all we had to do was stop eating. We learned something from Dr. Hess that we hadn't known before. Food, like alcohol, cigarettes and drugs to some is an addiction. The problem with an addiction to food is that unlike alcohol or drugs, we need food to survive. A person can quit drinking or smoking - but one can't quit eating. You really have to decide what you need to live on and see the excess as the addiction. It is much more difficult than many think, and we are so glad that the stigma surrounding the weight loss surgery is much less vocal today than it was when we had it.
When you go through difficult times, it either strengthens a relationship or hinders it. I'm so glad to say that all the tough times have just served to make my relationship with my mom one that is completely unbreakable. She and I have seen each other at our worst and at our best - and we still love each other.
I feel bad because my mom carries much more guilt than she should about things of the past. Remembering that I've forgiven and usually even forgotten is difficult for her. I pray that she finds the strength to forgive herself fully one day. As far as I am concerned, those things were a test and a trick of the enemy to try to get us to give up our walk with Christ and our relationship with each other...TOO BAD!
My mom always has a testimony and a song in her heart that she is ready to share - no matter where she is or who she is with. I'm proud to be her daughter, and when I think about just a little bit of the suffering that she has endured in her lifetime, I get sad. She deserves happiness at this time in her life more than anyone I know. She has proven herself to be the Proverbs 31 woman in every way. She is a wife to be admired and emulated by young wives today, she is an awesome mother and grandmother - to her own and any who want to call her grandma. She is an incredible daughter, and so faithful to her mom and dad as they began to need her help in their later years. I know the move to Muskegon was difficult for my om because this meant she wouldn have to give up the serving of her mom and dad - but it was time. There are others willing to step up, and they have. It is time for my mom to be served as she has served others all her life. I'm so glad she is at home at Shekinah Christian. She has been a fixture here since we began the work, and to have her and my dad as a part of the ministry seems to be a divine appointment made so many years ago, fulfilled.
My entry here could go on and on (like it didn't, you say?) and I still couldn't tell all of the ways my mom has been an amazing example to me. I guess the greatest compliment I get is when someone tells me that I'm just like my mom, because I think she is just about the greatest person I know. Regardless of the tough times, our arguments, disagreements and spats - nothing has ever kept us from depending on each other. When the rubber meets the road and I'm really in trouble, she is always there to offer encouragement, advice and help - if only I would take it! I'm proud to say that I learned to accept help as an adult. It makes you much more mature than to fail because you were too proud to admit you didn't know what to do, or made a bad decision and didn't want to get caught in it. I pray that my children will always feel the freedom to come to me with their problems, and that together, with Gods help - we can get through them.
Lord, like so many other people, thank you for sending me the best mom in the world. With all my hurt and suffering, it took someone so special to be my mom through all of that. Thank you for not only making us mother and daughter, but for making us friends - in You. Bless her, heal her body and strengthen her in every way. Bring her the joy of her salvation one more time, and give us what we need, only for the day. Thank you for knowing the kind of mom I would need, and for giving her to me.
I love you mom!
Monday, February 18, 2013
My Uncles~
Today I am grateful for...
Growing up, 2 of my uncles were also Elders in my church, and one was the Pastor. I only mention this, because from my youngest days, I can remember the time during every service when anyone desiring prayer for sickness was asked to come forward, to be anointed and prayed over. I placed myself in that line at every single opportunity. When it was my turn at the altar, they wouldn't need to ask for what I needed prayer - they knew. They would anoint my head and lay hands on my, asking God to heal my body of the Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis that has racked my body since the age of 2. They would finish praying, and I would return to my seat...still in pain. As I got older, and the disease progressed, I would often miss service due to extreme pain and swelling. Some nights the pain was unbearable, and sleep was not to be had. I could still call these awesome men of God, and no matter the time of night, they would begin to pray for me, until the crisis passed, and I could rest.
I've also got a great-uncle (I know, they are all probably thinking, "I am great!", but I'm talking relationship status...my mom's uncle = my great-uncle) who played a very important role in my life after 20 and before 30. He saw me through tough physical and spiritual times, and became a constant companion of my mother and I. We travelled out east, all the way to New Brunswick, Canada - to the homestead where our family is from. He told us wonderful stories of his youth, and even the years before he was born. He is an expert on family history, and if you have a question about the relationship of someone in our family, if anyone has the answer, Uncle William does!
And as far as my "uncles" minus the blood relation...the Lord has given me a few of those as well, Men of God that I admire, look up to, and feel confident to ask for direction, instruction, advice and even correction. It's like a dad without the rules!
I just couldn't ignore the men in my life - because I have been so very blessed by their sacrifices on my behalf...so, to the following uncles and "uncles", I say thank you, I love you and you are appreciated!
Uncle David Porter, Uncle Wayne Parent, Uncle Bryan Parent, Great-Uncle William Parent,
"Uncle" Ron Pimpleton, and to Uncle Rodger Mangold, until we meet again!
UNCLES
As I look back over the posts I've written, I re-read all the posts about my aunts, and my aunties..there is a distinct difference, though one is not above the other! However, as I thought about them, my mind immediately went to most of their husbands, my uncles. I do have some "uncles" in my life with whom I do not share blood, but a bond stronger - that of the blood of Jesus. Growing up, 2 of my uncles were also Elders in my church, and one was the Pastor. I only mention this, because from my youngest days, I can remember the time during every service when anyone desiring prayer for sickness was asked to come forward, to be anointed and prayed over. I placed myself in that line at every single opportunity. When it was my turn at the altar, they wouldn't need to ask for what I needed prayer - they knew. They would anoint my head and lay hands on my, asking God to heal my body of the Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis that has racked my body since the age of 2. They would finish praying, and I would return to my seat...still in pain. As I got older, and the disease progressed, I would often miss service due to extreme pain and swelling. Some nights the pain was unbearable, and sleep was not to be had. I could still call these awesome men of God, and no matter the time of night, they would begin to pray for me, until the crisis passed, and I could rest.
I've also got a great-uncle (I know, they are all probably thinking, "I am great!", but I'm talking relationship status...my mom's uncle = my great-uncle) who played a very important role in my life after 20 and before 30. He saw me through tough physical and spiritual times, and became a constant companion of my mother and I. We travelled out east, all the way to New Brunswick, Canada - to the homestead where our family is from. He told us wonderful stories of his youth, and even the years before he was born. He is an expert on family history, and if you have a question about the relationship of someone in our family, if anyone has the answer, Uncle William does!
And as far as my "uncles" minus the blood relation...the Lord has given me a few of those as well, Men of God that I admire, look up to, and feel confident to ask for direction, instruction, advice and even correction. It's like a dad without the rules!
I just couldn't ignore the men in my life - because I have been so very blessed by their sacrifices on my behalf...so, to the following uncles and "uncles", I say thank you, I love you and you are appreciated!
Uncle David Porter, Uncle Wayne Parent, Uncle Bryan Parent, Great-Uncle William Parent,
"Uncle" Ron Pimpleton, and to Uncle Rodger Mangold, until we meet again!
Sunday, February 17, 2013
for family...
Today I am grateful for...
She made a comment that just encouraged my heart, and I don't even know if she realized it - but it was something her dad and I worked so hard at instilling in all of our kids - and it was rewarding to see that we did. She said "I just want to try to cultivate relationships with all of my family, and have peace." That was something Jeff and I felt was very important, and we worked very hard at while the children were growing up. We always made it a priority to attend any and every family event (as long as we were invited, of course!) - regardless of what "branch" of the family tree. From Christmas to birthdays, and weddings to baby showers, if it was someone who loved our children, and they were willing to pour good and positive things into them - that was all that mattered.
One (of many)sad side effects of divorce for the children, is the loss of the relationships due to the feelings of the adults involved. Thankfully, our children have been blessed with family who were willing to put the past aside, and just love on them.
One (of not nearly so many) happy side effects of divorce, is that when there is a re-marriage, there is the blessing of the addition of more family to love our kids. Thankfully, my extended family received our children with open arms, and as their own...there is no "step" involved. From baptism to birthdays, from graduations to weddings...my family comes out to support our children too- regardless of the distance!
I'm so glad to see that this continues into Julie's adulthood, by the facebook posts from family, encouraging her on to victory in whatever she is attempting. Or giving her Godly wisdom to help her make a decision So many parents today do not instill the importance of family into their children - and some actually do quite the contrary. I hear about family "disowning" one another over something as silly as an argument or difference of opinion, or worst of all, the almighty dollar! Family is family, and no matter what happened in the past, those family ties should remain intact.
I'm not so naive as to ignore the fact that sometimes removing oneself from a dysfunctional family is the healthy thing to do. Not by a longshot. Unfortunately, I have personally had to do this with some family members who were not a positive influence, and just seemed to have the need to cause dissention and confusion. The Word tells me that God is not the Author of confusion, so if there is confusion regarding a situation, I do what I need to do to remove myself from it.
I'm a firm believer that because this is a reality for so many people, God has seen fit to place a church "family" into our lives. The presence of a family of believers, standing next to me, and holding me up through the tough times is a miracle and a gift from God. Where I've had to say good-bye to certain "blood relatives", through Christ, I've gained "relatives by The Blood".
Whatever our family ends up to be - a mix of blood relatives and family through Jesus Christ - I know that it is exactly what God meant it to be. It is our sincere prayer that Joe is also able to follow our teaching and example, and not only reach out, but receive what God has for him through whatever family chooses to be a part of his life.
FAMILY
I know that many of my posts were about a specific family member, and I'm obviously blessed with an abundance of amazing family. However, after a visit with my daughter, Julie yesterday, I began to think about all of the family that is in her life...and what it takes to overcome the sting and pain of divorce, for the best interest of the children.
Yesterday, I had the pleasure of sitting with Julie for lunch and a visit. As she filled me in on her and Nate's lives, and their hopes and ideas for the immediate future, I was encouraged by the way she spoke of family.
She made a comment that just encouraged my heart, and I don't even know if she realized it - but it was something her dad and I worked so hard at instilling in all of our kids - and it was rewarding to see that we did. She said "I just want to try to cultivate relationships with all of my family, and have peace." That was something Jeff and I felt was very important, and we worked very hard at while the children were growing up. We always made it a priority to attend any and every family event (as long as we were invited, of course!) - regardless of what "branch" of the family tree. From Christmas to birthdays, and weddings to baby showers, if it was someone who loved our children, and they were willing to pour good and positive things into them - that was all that mattered.
One (of many)sad side effects of divorce for the children, is the loss of the relationships due to the feelings of the adults involved. Thankfully, our children have been blessed with family who were willing to put the past aside, and just love on them.
One (of not nearly so many) happy side effects of divorce, is that when there is a re-marriage, there is the blessing of the addition of more family to love our kids. Thankfully, my extended family received our children with open arms, and as their own...there is no "step" involved. From baptism to birthdays, from graduations to weddings...my family comes out to support our children too- regardless of the distance!
I'm so glad to see that this continues into Julie's adulthood, by the facebook posts from family, encouraging her on to victory in whatever she is attempting. Or giving her Godly wisdom to help her make a decision So many parents today do not instill the importance of family into their children - and some actually do quite the contrary. I hear about family "disowning" one another over something as silly as an argument or difference of opinion, or worst of all, the almighty dollar! Family is family, and no matter what happened in the past, those family ties should remain intact.
I'm not so naive as to ignore the fact that sometimes removing oneself from a dysfunctional family is the healthy thing to do. Not by a longshot. Unfortunately, I have personally had to do this with some family members who were not a positive influence, and just seemed to have the need to cause dissention and confusion. The Word tells me that God is not the Author of confusion, so if there is confusion regarding a situation, I do what I need to do to remove myself from it.
I'm a firm believer that because this is a reality for so many people, God has seen fit to place a church "family" into our lives. The presence of a family of believers, standing next to me, and holding me up through the tough times is a miracle and a gift from God. Where I've had to say good-bye to certain "blood relatives", through Christ, I've gained "relatives by The Blood".
Whatever our family ends up to be - a mix of blood relatives and family through Jesus Christ - I know that it is exactly what God meant it to be. It is our sincere prayer that Joe is also able to follow our teaching and example, and not only reach out, but receive what God has for him through whatever family chooses to be a part of his life.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
to be continued...
So, technically, last nights entry was to be my last "gratitude" entry. Funny how the Lord didn't stop bringing people to my mind, just because the required number of days had passed. It was my intent to do the gratitude blog for 20 days, as part of a fast with my church - Shekinah Chrisitan Ministries.
What I learned was that I have much more to be grateful for than I really realized, and that I am blessed and highly favored with people who not only love me, but serve me, uplift me, encourage me, pray for me, hold me accountable, and minister to me. The Lord has placed me and my family smack dab in the center of the most amazing group of individuals that we could have ever hoped for. From our biological family, to our church family, to our DeColores family - we are blessed with more friends than we could have ever imagined. It took a small committment on my part, just to let those folks for whom I am grateful, know that I am grateful for them, for the Lord to open my eyes to the massive community of believers I have to call on in times of need or trouble.
I pray that as I continue to write my entries, the Lord will bless those I am writing about. I never want to seem ungrateful for the many, many friends He has blessed me with. As I look back at the 21 days of entries, I realize that I have only scratched the surface of my gratitude list.
So, for that reason - I will pick up again tomorrow, and as often as I can thereafter, until I have exhausted my gratitude list. If you want to see a change in your life, make the committment to start being more grateful. Whether you choose to send a hand written note, as my pastor's wife, Ms. Coretta did when she issued her challenge, or you choose to write a blog, or a traditional journal to the folks you are grateful for - you will be surprised at how many people start coming to your mind, and you'll be overwhelmed by the fact that it took something like this to help you realize how very blessed you really are.
At least that's what it has done for me...wonder what it will do for you? I throw down the gauntlet...who will pick it up?
What I learned was that I have much more to be grateful for than I really realized, and that I am blessed and highly favored with people who not only love me, but serve me, uplift me, encourage me, pray for me, hold me accountable, and minister to me. The Lord has placed me and my family smack dab in the center of the most amazing group of individuals that we could have ever hoped for. From our biological family, to our church family, to our DeColores family - we are blessed with more friends than we could have ever imagined. It took a small committment on my part, just to let those folks for whom I am grateful, know that I am grateful for them, for the Lord to open my eyes to the massive community of believers I have to call on in times of need or trouble.
I pray that as I continue to write my entries, the Lord will bless those I am writing about. I never want to seem ungrateful for the many, many friends He has blessed me with. As I look back at the 21 days of entries, I realize that I have only scratched the surface of my gratitude list.
So, for that reason - I will pick up again tomorrow, and as often as I can thereafter, until I have exhausted my gratitude list. If you want to see a change in your life, make the committment to start being more grateful. Whether you choose to send a hand written note, as my pastor's wife, Ms. Coretta did when she issued her challenge, or you choose to write a blog, or a traditional journal to the folks you are grateful for - you will be surprised at how many people start coming to your mind, and you'll be overwhelmed by the fact that it took something like this to help you realize how very blessed you really are.
At least that's what it has done for me...wonder what it will do for you? I throw down the gauntlet...who will pick it up?
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