When it started to become obvious that my mom and dad being in Romulus was no longer in their best interest, physically, financially or even spiritually to some degree, my husband and I sat down to have a "talk". Any of you married folks in the "sandwich" generation (I've recently learned this is where Jeff and I are...still raising our children, and also caring for aging parents) know this talk. It is never a one time discussion, and it is rarely a discussion at all. Our first went something like this:
JEFF: "Honey, do you think it's getting time to move your parents closer to Muskegon?"
ME: "Why do you say that?"
JEFF: "Well, for the past year, every time we come to Romulus, your mom has bought more bags of Cheetos."
ME: "What's wrong with her buying Cheetos?"
JEFF: "Umm, She has them hidden in every closet in the house...this place is filled with Sam's Club size bags of Cheetos. I'm just saying, she might need some help."
ME: "You might be right."
Now, obviously Cheetos wasn't our only deciding factor...but it was on the list, and for clarification, those who helped us move them discovered most of them, the final count was 14 unopened, Sam's Club sized bags of Cheetos.
Where do we begin? We are still trying to raise Joseph with a pretty limited income. His needs get more expensive with each passing year, and the only thing that hasn't increased is the amount of money we earn every month. Actually, it decreased by almost a fourth in February 2012 - with no warning whatsoever. We continued to tithe and give in faith that the Lord would provide...and He has, but how can we afford to help my parents when we are barely getting by ourselves?
To prayer we went...not only us, but our church family and friends who know how to pray - we left no prayer list unchecked, and no prayer chain uncalled. Lord, we need an answer!
One month later, my dad was in the hospital at Henry Ford Medical Center - Oakwood. Something is seriously wrong with his heart, and he isn't getting any better. Jeff and I had a chat with my mom one evening while visiting, and told her what we had been praying about. My mom, being a woman of faith and practical thinking (not withstanding the Cheetos) was on board...ready to move West!
But what about my dad?
A visit to him in ICU, and a chat that lasted about 7 seconds -went something like.. "No, I'm not ready...I like my home. I like the church here. I'm not going." Hmmm, OK, Lord - did we hear completely wrong? Is it NOT the time? Perhaps the Cheetos thing really isn't such a big deal? Back to the drawing board.
Or, maybe not.
What none of us realized at the time, was that the people we had asked to pray, not only prayed...but they interceded! Our Pastor's wife, bless her soul, was on a walk through her neighborhood as she prayed one evening, and she called me and said, "there is a house for sale here in the park. Here is the number. I really think you should call."
I called, set up a meeting for that evening, and we went to check out the place. It was perfect, move in ready and handicap accessible. Not to mention around the block from my Pastor and less than 5 miles from our home. The owner was looking for a serious buyer, and promised to hold the place while we traveled to Romulus to chat with my parents.
Just a few short weeks after my dad was released from this hospital visit, Jeff and I convinced he and my mom to come to Muskegon for a visit over Labor Day weekend...just to take a look at a few places, and think about the possibility of a move down the road. At this time, Jeff was still recovering from a pretty intensive shoulder surgery, so he was unable to drive or lift anything yet. We had no secret plans to move them at the moment anyway.
On Friday, they arrived in Muskegon, on Friday night my mom got sick. On Saturday morning, I took her to the emergency room. On Saturday night, she had emergency surgery to repair a bowel blockage, and was diagnosed as severely malnourished, and with "failure to thrive". On Sunday morning, she asked her surgeon when she could go home. He replied, "Mrs. Anderson, you are a very sick lady. You can't take care of yourself anymore. You need the help of your daughter and her family. You are home."
In the space of 72 hours, the Lord allowed a series of events to unfold that would forever change my life, and that of my family...and would grow my faith in a way I never thought possible.
After all, the fact that the doctor told her she needed to be closer to more help did not generate the finances needed for this to be a possibility. We still have their home of nearly 40 years in Romulus - with a mortgage they were upside down in. Did I mention that the house was a 3 bedroom, 3 story Colonial style home where they raised 4 children, and that the home in Muskegon is a 3 bedroom trailer? Did I mention that the cost of living in Romulus (a suburb of Detroit) was so high, that it was taking nearly 70% of their income just to cover the expenses of the house? How about the fact that every room, from the attic the size of the entire 3rd level, to the full basement was filled to the brim with stuff? Not to mention the garage! How about the medical bills that accrue regularly, and as soon as one gets paid off, there are two more to take it's place? Let's not even discuss the car accident that totaled their vehicle and almost killed my mom, that was my dads fault, that was still in litigation! Remember, Jeff is still recovering from shoulder surgery...my main source of strength and who I would need to lean on for so much help during a move, was unable to do more than be a gracious host, and give up his bed and his recliner...relegated to the spare room to finish his recovery!
Are you feeling the pressure just a little? I certainly was.
But then...there was this moment...my Pastor and his precious wife came to the hospital and sat with me while I waited to hear how my the surgery went. They spoke words of encouragement, words of life, health and strength...and plenty of humor too! They brought to me, the peace that passes understanding. That thing where when you have absolutely no idea how you are going to get through a situation, but you just know that you will. When you have 1,000 questions, and not a single answer...but you know it's going to be alright. I knew that my parents would be moving to Muskegon, into that perfect home that Ms. Coretta found on her prayer walk all those weeks ago.
I didn't know how, and it didn't matter. I placed it, along with every other fear, unanswered question, worry and doubt, at the foot of the cross. Then I took action...the faith risk of all faith risks! Without the funds, without the help, without means of any kind, I began to make phone calls, set appointments, hire help, and prepare for the big move.
An estate sale company came in and handled the contents of the home for us. No way was I navigating a sale from 200 miles away! We needed $5,000.00 as a down payment on the land contract agreement. My parents had $2,000 in savings. Would you dare to guess as to how much income the estate sale generated? Of course...after their costs and profit taken, we received a check for $3,098.00! Just enough - and a little extra for fuel! How great is our God??
My mom's surgery was on September 3, 2012. On Saturday, September 15, 2012 - with the help of friends from their church in Taylor, Michigan, and my church in Muskegon Michigan, we moved them from their home of nearly 40 years, to the home, where little did any of us know, that they would share for less than 2 years.
But what an amazing 16 months it was. Not a day passed when either one or both of them told me or my husband how much they loved it in Muskegon, and how much they loved their home. With all the difficulty that my dad faced physically during that 16 months, I don't even want to think how we would have navigated it all from Muskegon...not to mention his unexpected passing just a few weeks ago.
My Heavenly Father knew, all those years ago...when I made the decision to marry this man from West Michigan, with his three beautiful children, that it was not a decision that would only change the course of my life and theirs, but that it would be the first in a series of faith risks that would lead my parents to a calm and peaceful last years of their marriage. And I'm trusting in Him for the next season of my mom's journey to be filled with great times, leading others to Him, and even greater risks of faith!
Now, our son will be 18 in a few short days...and his path is laid before him...what risks of faith are just waiting for my husband and I?
Stay tuned!
“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, And whose hope is the Lord. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, Which spreads out its roots by the river, And will not fear when heat comes; But its leaf will be green, And will not be anxious in the year of drought, Nor will cease from yielding fruit. Jeremiah 17:7-8 NKJV
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| Mother Becky (as she is called at Shekinah Christian Ministries) and Elder Tom enjoy the potluck dinner following Ministry Appreciation Service on November 10, 2013. |
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